i am a modular being, layered like a cake. the body, mind & feelings compose the ego-personality layers, & the witness stands central as portal to You, Shiva, making the cake of me multidimensional, bridging & blending realms, giving You access through me to pour bright energy to the world. as witness i'm like a comicstrip superhero, peeling off the outer layers of my disguise. i step forth when the need calls to be the willing witness who can see the gift of the patterns organizing the richly varied drama of daily life. i aim to be detached so that no harm can ever befall me. yet maya still seduces by lavishing me with my fondest wishes, now fulfilled, luring me back to her sticky web. desires i never knew were there have merely lurked just beneath the surface, awaiting their cue to surge forward, & i am stuck yet again. i'm caught once more in a situation i never saw coming & don't want to let go, all layered enticingly & well. where is my one-pointed awareness? where is my heart flying free? where is that cool-headed detachment when i'm stuck here in maya's web? You've brought out my hidden attachments, Shiva, the acceptance i had never dared hope for before, & i get to unravel the ties & the knots that i wasn't aware were there. it feels like do-it-yourself open-heart surgery, & i'm clumsy at best. maya entices me to plunge into the world where i'm whirled through the cycles, the ups & the downs, with many a story to tell. Shiva, You use all of maya's ruses to hone my edges as sharp as keen knives that i freely may cut through the many ties that weigh me down, bind tight & hold me back. i need to see it all through to the final credits at the end & then the lights will come on again. You will be revealed by my side to the inner vision as maya shifts the scene & the music rises to bridge to the next episode. the detached witness rises once more within to do it all again, yet on a higher turn of maya's spiral. this is our dance, Shiva, round after round, recognizing & then refining the moves of the drama, turning the darkness to light.
the daily critique of people & events runs on one channel. the witness of this drama watches it from another channel. where do i place my voluntary attention & heartfelt choice? at each moment there is a purposeful return to the witness. over & over the urge manifests to see truly, clearly, not to indulge in the ego drama of fierce feelings, needs & iron preferences enclosing like binding chains & blinders. if nothing more is done for sadhana than this alone, at least this much is completed to coax & invite deeper awareness. hence the mind's tv is tirelessly tuned to the witness channel, forming the habit of divine detachment as a point of view. it will eventually happen that the tv is turned off & that there are no channels at all available any more. now comes the singularity, the formless blending foretold by quantum physics & the upanishads & psychedelics. as the event horizon nears, i surrender the mind to You. ah, it's better that my heart should thirst & pine after You, Shiva, than to encounter the hungry ghosts of the active agile mind!