web – THIS HAPPENED

i am a modular being, layered like a cake. the body,
mind & feelings compose the ego-personality layers,
& the witness stands central as portal to You, Shiva, making
the cake of me multidimensional, bridging & blending realms,
giving You access through me to pour bright energy to the world.
as witness i'm like a comicstrip superhero, peeling off
the outer layers of my disguise. i step forth when the need calls
to be the willing witness who can see the gift of the patterns
organizing the richly varied drama of daily life.

i aim to be detached so that no harm can ever befall me.
yet maya still seduces by lavishing me with my fondest
wishes, now fulfilled, luring me back to her sticky web. desires
i never knew were there have merely lurked just beneath the surface,
awaiting their cue to surge forward, & i am stuck yet again.
i'm caught once more in a situation i never saw coming
& don't want to let go, all layered enticingly & well.

where is my one-pointed awareness? where is my heart flying free?
where is that cool-headed detachment when i'm stuck here in maya's
web? You've brought out my hidden attachments, Shiva, the acceptance
i had never dared hope for before, & i get to unravel
the ties & the knots that i wasn't aware were there. it feels like
do-it-yourself open-heart surgery, & i'm clumsy at best.

maya entices me to plunge into the world where i'm whirled through
the cycles, the ups & the downs, with many a story to tell.
Shiva, You use all of maya's ruses to hone my edges as
sharp as keen knives that i freely may cut through the many ties that
weigh me down, bind tight & hold me back. i need to see it all through
to the final credits at the end & then the lights will come on
again. You will be revealed by my side to the inner vision
as maya shifts the scene & the music rises to bridge to the
next episode. the detached witness rises once more within to
do it all again, yet on a higher turn of maya's spiral.
this is our dance, Shiva, round after round, recognizing & then
refining the moves of the drama, turning the darkness to light.

i am here in a human body, vowing this human heart to You, who have given me a task for these last years in this human body. i am to look back with discernment over the years of this life & to notice the times in the past when You have touched me & guided me, shaped & refined me. these are the crucial turning points & stepping stones. they are pivotal to a constructive, creative life-direction, spun out of me naturally, like the filmy-fine strands of the web from a spider in a symmetry of pattern & delicate beauty which signifies You, my beloved companion on this strange journey. You are the one specific strand that links & ties the parts together for usefulness & positive value to manifest in the world. here is the holistic view of this human life & time in jagat. here is where i gratefully bow to the body-personality. here is how ego becomes just another face in the chorus line. here is where we blend at the heart into a spark of eternal flame. here i am in a human body, vowing this human heart to You.