weaving – THIS HAPPENED

as i age i become more fully aware of the softly binding skein
of attachments that surrounds the body-personality & weaves it
into the world of having & doing. the requirements, activities,
appointments! the expectations, desires, hopes, education & training!

lifelong this weaving persists, layer upon layer of entanglements,
of outer achievements & awards. i am held & cocooned within the
complex itineraries of others, drawing me further & deeper
into the world, securing me into the expanding global order.

thread by thread & stitch by stitch, i am now cutting through & pulling apart
the widespread web of hypnotic ties that urgently seeks to reattach.
the sociocultural necessities snort & snuffle restlessly,
while i steadfastly turn my back & struggle free; turn my back on them all.

ah, but love has caught me up, has charmed & secured me with a holy hand
that i cannot deny or flee! love has fixed me in place here & will not
let me go. it is more than i am: it is vast, & it is replacing
all other attachments with itself. Your universal medicine has
found me, Shiva, as i now merge with the many into the sacred One.

Your divine love dissolves the ties of the world & it dissolves me also,
Shiva, into the great spiritual heart where life always throbs as One,
knowing no other, & all pending accounts are paid in full forever.

i know You not by form but by Your tender presence felt within my heart. i know You by the glow of warmth at my core, by the buoyancy within my whole being, magnetized by & moving to You irresistibly. i melt inside when i recall our meeting, the pure blending of essence. i melt inside when i hear Your name, Shiva, & i overflow in these words on paper celebrating You in all the ways & times of our union. i am weaving threads of communion with You in this sincere poetry. i realize repeatedly that You are central to this life, Shiva, far more important than the cyclic comings & goings, the ups & downs, the loves who come & the loves who go. You alone are my steady constant, my anchor, the bond that thrills me to my existential reality. i know You not by form but by Your tender presence felt within my heart. my entire being is an open doorway for You to fully enter, dissolving altogether that which appears as name & form, time & place. beloved Shiva (i dare to speak as if i am holy Parvati), hold me in Your sacred warmth as the gravid world travails in birthing pain.