the pearl inside

today is broken glass, sharp edges, crippled promises,
missed deadlines & forgotten friendliness. a lost child cries
quietly, alone in a dim locked room in an attic.

Shiva! You bring me the circumstances of these jagged
hungry-ghost feelings to help me discover that they do
indeed pass & do change & are not who i really am.

Shiva, You keep breaking me open so i can discern
the truth of my existence, or perhaps so i can find
the pearl inside, made from the good intentions of others,
imposed upon the soft tender innocence deep within.
that pearl is not mine, nor do i claim it or desire it.
it is Yours. only You can transform what the beauty hides.

Shiva, i will cleave to You with unrelenting firmness
as we resolve into the same essential beingness.
here the wave of me merges into the ocean of You:
here there is no broken glass, no lost child, not even words.

in this world

on all sides we are urged to action in this world,
to produce & share & organize & maintain,
to think & discriminate & improve ourselves.
great divine beings are also doing their work,
all the suns in the galaxies lighting the way,
& there is no end to the busyness of action.

dear Shiva, i want only to do that which You
have set before me, step by step, for You alone.
You are actor & the action & the acted-upon
& i do nothing but appear here in this world.
You reveal to me that which is now needful &
it takes on a life of its own, like a story
in a vast unfolding divine presentation.

dear Shiva, i know You want me to be here
but i don't know why, nor am i concerned with it.
this is Your world, Shiva, & i am here for You.
my own existence is truly action for You.
You are my service, my life & my final stop
as mind becomes weary of its survival games.
You urge me to be aware only of You now
& that is my most vital action in this world:
to rest in Your refuge as wave rests in ocean.