i am not the body-personality nor am i the author of the actions of that physical being. i am the observing awareness, the indwelling presence ever abiding beyond thought, who calmly witnesses. that which is done through the body's agency, because of the influence of the personality, belongs to that entity alone. it is not mine. i am the pure bright awareness enlivening the body: truly, i am not of the body. i am ever free, ever stainless, like a cloud in the sky, like space itself, just present, offering no resistance & no attachment. now i am standing on the threshold between body-personality & observing awareness. in daily life both flow with the evolving events of the moment. yet the body-personality has many ups & downs, whereas the awareness remains clear & steady, unattached to the outcome. this is what i contemplate in sadhana, Shiva. i currently am a fluctuating amalgam of spirit & matter. it's like that tremulous moment when the butterfly realizes that she is in the chrysalis & can remotely sense her wings slowly developing, but she herself is yet vulnerable & powerless to act. nor is it needful, for creation is unfolding & happening naturally, by itself, for all of us. ah Shiva! this sadhana is on-going, a way of life, & i am quite fundamentally drawn to it, attracted like the moth to her fulfillment in the fire of flaming truth. i am witness to the blazing conflagration.
holy is the rapture of fire & water, playing as spirit & matter, Shiva & Shakti, uniting. ah Shiva! let us float upon the waves of fond regard &, rising as mist, leave it all fading behind as we become transparent, as we become the splendor of light, as we become pure rainbow & nebulous aurora. oh Shiva! this dance of luminous flowing shapes dissolves into nameless effulgence of electrons! yet still You generously consent to these pale words as pointers toward that alluring numinous love calling us home. You are my home, Shiva, my heart's abode & resting place; i traverse this labyrinth of life securely in You.