Shiva, when You include me with You to gather dhatura flowers
to consecrate a new natural Shivling by the waterfall, You
bring back rich memories of my shamanic learning time in nature.
two-thousand-seven is my year of growing the shamanic power
plants dhatura inoxia & metel, plus brugmansia. these
are especially liked for their trumpet flowers, & is why i am
interested in growing them. i am aware of the dangers of
consuming these powerful plants, which is why i hope to get to know
them through meditating on the flowers. it seems like a discreet way
to encounter & greet a masterful mind-altering holy plant.
dhatura stramonium grows wild in the fields out here so i don't
cultivate it. i do find that the south american dhatura
plants are hard for me to grow! i find that salvia divinorum,
which is known to be challenging to grow, seems to be friendly to me
for it thrives, with strong large leaves. the dhatura plants &
brugmansia, however, persist in being sickly & stunted
in spite of my best educated efforts. the plants do come from a
trustworthy grower so their refusal to thrive is mysterious.
they basically & stubbornly just don't want to grow, seeming to sulk.
summer & fall begin to blur together, yet no flowers have bloomed
in my small dhatura garden. the ragged plants are sadly bug-chewed
& fungus ridden, obviously in terminal decline. i have
quite given up on them too. nothing that i do seems to help those plants.
it is evening now, darkness is near & i am returning home
after meditating in the woods by the field. as i saunter down
the pathway that goes through a rugged overgrown wild patch by the fence,
i smell a strong rank peculiar odor, akin to rotting leaves.
it seems to swirl around me like a noxious invisible mist.
i hurry through it, for it feels aggressive, invasive, unfriendly.
i am eagerly headed home now, right at the end of this pathway.
i enter the screened-in front deck where our two indoor cats are lounging,
enjoying the evening. it is almost dark now &, suddenly,
the rank green smell descends upon us, surrounding us on the deck, &
the cats absolutely freak out! one is climbing the screen & i pluck
him off & toss him inside. the other cat dashes quickly inside
too. it is definitely time to remain inside with the doors shut!
i have a very strong feeling that the south american plants have
now informed me of their final decision that they will not be my
allies. i quite agree with them. not every flower will be a friend.
but the dhatura stramonium, whose blooms Shiva & i gathered
lately, is friendly. that's why Shiva chose its flowers for the Shivling.
the shamanic path, in fact, brings me to the sanatana dharma,
as the unity of all existence becomes clear & life-changing
within me. Shiva, Your divine presence steadily supports, although
Your identity & name take longer to find in my heart. i had to
be available for purification first, stripped down to essence,
& bereft of all i thought i knew, before i could meet & see
You truly, & the real heartfelt dharmic journey could at last begin.
Shiva, when You gave me this sadhana of sharing my journey with You by way of poetry in a blog, it deepened my life. i thought of wordpress as a platform for creating a webpage. i did not realize that it is also a community of people sharing their insights & life events from various perspectives & interests, yet all with respectful courtesy.
poetry especially fosters this acceptance, for it is like a finger pointing to something vital & heartfelt, as there is the openness of disclosure & the freedom to share.
along with this, our culture & society tend to promote focus on the gender differences between men & women. in my sadhana on this path of Sanatana Dharma, i'm detaching from the body-mind identity & sharing as the observer & witness to the daily drama of this life.
because of this, i did not choose to reveal the body gender. there have been times when gender has been assumed & i am addressed as "sir". since i greatly value truth, i did add "wife & mother" to my bio under the menu choice "this happened: the story". this is where i look when i read a blog, so this seemed a good place.
Shiva, i find that each level of growth & evolution brings the deep work of intensifying clarity & compassion. it's like climbing a mountain, to discover a vast expanse of mountains & plateaux going on & on into the far distance.
yet it's only the next step that i need to concern myself with. so i focus on Your companionship, Shiva, holding Your hand, walking on this path of inner unfoldment, always attending to the very next step, seeking harmony & rapport with You.
Shiva, You know me by my energy-signature & essence. i am grateful. the form is not important but the purity of intention does matter. thank You for this opportunity to be forthcoming & visible to others in service & gratitude to You. OM NAMAH SHIVAYA
the time to look within that the pandemic provides
is a healing & integrative blessing, though strict.
i know enough now not to confuse the wrapping of
the gift with the real gift, which i receive gratefully.
Shiva, i see that the sanatana dharma came
to the west as theosophy & esotericism,
telling the holistic tale that bridges cultures & lifestyles.
we are more alike than different, preferring love
over violence, gentleness over cruelty.
we surge forward as a multitude toward the light.
we stray only to learn the true nature of our need.
we are ignited, blazing like a fire in winter,
as we return to You, who are called by many names.
You bring the sanatana dharma, ageless wisdom,
the effulgence of eternal truth in daily life.
the pandemic is the current opportunity
to go within, emerging into Your dear embrace
as we shed our ragged & broken crusty old skins
for the supple skin of a newborn child in this world
as we return to You, who are called by many names.