for long years i have followed You from the burning ground, Shiva. now You come to me in the turmoil of my kurukshetra. i know this much: no matter what the surroundings & events, i love You. i dwell upon You. i call You. i cling to You. i wrap Your holy presence around me like a second skin & this empowers me through the necessary severings: the old falling away, the new pushing through the yielding dark into the light, opening the shy heart, freeing the bound mind from the burden of impeding ruminations & insults. now You have come to me in my most private kurukshetra, for i followed You from the heat & smoke of the burning ground. Your presence strengthens me in this destined battle which i face. Shiva, You are my shield & protection. You are my refuge.
Shiva, my refuge & my beloved! i am for You & You alone! You have shown me that every well-intentioned, upbeat & constructive thought & feeling is nourishment for the divine forces of light, for angels & devas & gods, for the well-being of countless blessed beings & worlds. You have shown me how they flourish & deepen in goodness & in service. You have also revealed to me that every negative & hate-filled thought is food & fuel for the forces of darkness, for demons & devils & the sly covert undermining of innocent, good & pure beings. therefore i no longer indulge in angry, bitter, resentful feelings nor linger in dim dull grey gloom or wearisome comparative thinking, for i myself may then become an infectious contagion to others. thus it is, Shiva, that i will focus on You & the many blessings which continually urge me toward my greatest unfolding goodness. i seek to prepare a banquet of joy for angels & devas & gods that the beauty of kindness & the gentle caring heart may be present. i rejoice in the generous abundance of nature, the sky, the sun, oceans, rivers, mountains, valleys & their varied populations. may heartfelt gratitude & sincere appreciation pour forth freely, like honey from the honeycomb & cool refreshing rain from the heavens! Shiva, my refuge & my beloved! i am for You & You alone! we nourish the manvantara by pouring out our love relentlessly.
You sent me out into the woods at twilight to sing to devas in the blue ridge mountains of my dreamtime. i consecrated leafy temples to the divine as You urged me deeper into the green-fingered trees. You led me on intense quest after quest. i trusted You to guide me on my way & You have blessed me, made a thing of beauty of my long stumbling life-journey. You urged me close so that i could take refuge in You. You are my true reality in this comedy of posturing, this rowdy parade of cosmic clowns. You have ordered this woman's life to sacred song which is imprinted deeply in my heart's memory: "i mean no harm. i am passing through. i celebrate all existence." & i do, regularly, daily. truly, seeking refuge in You takes me to the heart where all experience is rendered luminous, pure, with sacred secret messages of Your loving care, that holy trust that has me singing of You, Shiva!
on all sides we are urged to action in this world, to produce & share & organize & maintain, to think & discriminate & improve ourselves. great divine beings are also doing their work, all the suns in the galaxies lighting the way, & there is no end to the busyness of action. dear Shiva, i want only to do that which You have set before me, step by step, for You alone. You are actor & the action & the acted-upon & i do nothing but appear here in this world. You reveal to me that which is now needful & it takes on a life of its own, like a story in a vast unfolding divine presentation. dear Shiva, i know You want me to be here but i don't know why, nor am i concerned with it. this is Your world, Shiva, & i am here for You. my own existence is truly action for You. You are my service, my life & my final stop as mind becomes weary of its survival games. You urge me to be aware only of You now & that is my most vital action in this world: to rest in Your refuge as wave rests in ocean.
i'm sharing blessings through poetry, art, stories. i'm giving all that to You, Shiva, who owns my heart. You transform the dense substance into the subtle through our dance together in this rich realm of form. i am shy to tell You of my love, though You are the center of my life & my heart melts in You. You have blessed me far beyond my imagining. i am Your devotee, Shiva, i am Yours now. i live my life for You, i give my life to You. i take refuge in You: hold me deep, deep within!