i see such a narrow slice of life: in essence, a micro-reality, the tiny zoomed-in view of a single pixel on its little adventures in wonderland. with education, training & practice, the questing pixel of me can see ever more extensive hierarchies of agreed-upon participation. so many configurations seem possible, & with eager caution i try a selection of them. but i see such a narrow slice of reality that the choices seem quite limited indeed. what if i turn my focus from the various choices of configuration to the source of them all? what if i shift my attention from the activity itself to That which is the originating source of it, the focal point? what underlies & overlights all this strange dreamlike realm? i am ready for awareness of a larger slice of existence & i set out to find it. psychoactive substances can offer a preview, an in-depth sample. they can indeed reveal more & can encourage one to walk the spiritual path. yet the real deep inner work must be done in every state of consciousness. it must be the sincere application of devoted intelligence, plus the focussed desire to realize the central divine essence of the vast complex surrounding multiplicity that we find ourselves held within. as for my narrow little pixel-sized slice of reality: i embrace it & honor it as best i can with what i've got, & then i set it free. i have done this for years & finally, now at last, You have told me Your name, & You are truly an amazing wild card! Shiva! this is the best plot twist ever in my life! that which i had considered could somehow be imagined is now brought to light & stands revealed like Mount Kailash when the clouds part & the sun touches its face in kinship. Shiva! it really is You, taking me beyond the old maya of unworthiness. "why pick me?' i would ask, feeling that a mistake had been made. yet here i must also acknowledge, "why not me?" for it's only through Your holy grace, Shiva, that the puzzle pieces are placed together & the picture emerges completely. this is Your grace alone. i am a spark of Your sacred flame, alight in gratitude, burning with love. my narrow slice of reality stands as a portal into You, Shiva.
i am a modular being, layered like a cake. the body, mind & feelings compose the ego-personality layers, & the witness stands central as portal to You, Shiva, making the cake of me multidimensional, bridging & blending realms, giving You access through me to pour bright energy to the world. as witness i'm like a comicstrip superhero, peeling off the outer layers of my disguise. i step forth when the need calls to be the willing witness who can see the gift of the patterns organizing the richly varied drama of daily life. i aim to be detached so that no harm can ever befall me. yet maya still seduces by lavishing me with my fondest wishes, now fulfilled, luring me back to her sticky web. desires i never knew were there have merely lurked just beneath the surface, awaiting their cue to surge forward, & i am stuck yet again. i'm caught once more in a situation i never saw coming & don't want to let go, all layered enticingly & well. where is my one-pointed awareness? where is my heart flying free? where is that cool-headed detachment when i'm stuck here in maya's web? You've brought out my hidden attachments, Shiva, the acceptance i had never dared hope for before, & i get to unravel the ties & the knots that i wasn't aware were there. it feels like do-it-yourself open-heart surgery, & i'm clumsy at best. maya entices me to plunge into the world where i'm whirled through the cycles, the ups & the downs, with many a story to tell. Shiva, You use all of maya's ruses to hone my edges as sharp as keen knives that i freely may cut through the many ties that weigh me down, bind tight & hold me back. i need to see it all through to the final credits at the end & then the lights will come on again. You will be revealed by my side to the inner vision as maya shifts the scene & the music rises to bridge to the next episode. the detached witness rises once more within to do it all again, yet on a higher turn of maya's spiral. this is our dance, Shiva, round after round, recognizing & then refining the moves of the drama, turning the darkness to light.
the sky is aswarm with color & form, astral beings struggling to be born from misty glowing primal substance. ceremonies of birth & transformation take place daily in the pregnant sky overhead, expressing the glory of their evolving colors & shapes. they move, swirl & communicate in ephemeral script embedded with subtle messages of renewal & release. we are cherished. we are cared for by vast lifeforms who enliven our gifts & our challenges (for they are so similar, like kin). they are Your emissaries, Shiva, Your mystic, yet visible, hands, moving in holy flowing sign language within the portal of the sky. You give us such illuminated invitations to Your transcendent dance, whether in the heavens or in the midst of daily working life on earth. You send constant invitations to the here & now, wake-up calls both gentle & fierce & You don't abandon us here. You will always bring more opportunities. the sky is aswarm with color & form, reminding us in its vibrant glory of the hidden hands of blessing comforting us.