that's the name that my final husband, bill, & i called our home to the various friends, family & wanderers who came our way over the years. we were the gates family, & we named our home "way station" to indicate that it was a place to rest while on a long journey. some came & left quickly, while others became a good part of our lives for ages. all were teachers of various kinds, & we also shared all that we could with them of positive world views & lessons we learned. we included the planet "saturn" in our home name, for he is the task master & way shower, the wise companion of our elderhood. thrift & discipline as a way of life were acceptable to us: we learned from everyone & everything, intending good will to all. we named our home "space refinery" because we so cherished the deep philosophical discussions & spiritual musings that we often enjoyed with other people. we felt that we contributed positively to the planetary noosphere in this small way. for more than forty years bill & i held this vision dear to our hearts, & manifested it in our lives. even here in this nursing home, we held fast to a positive vision & ideal, glad that we were able to remain at least under the same roof until death did part us physically. we are still together in the space refinery though, for it is nonphysical in its essence. the subtle inner work continues onward, only briefly interrupted after all. such has been Your influence on me, Shiva, silently guiding me through the years, refining the best in me to a realm of purity i could not imagine in my younger years of untried ignorance. saturn is another teacher in Your cosmic university. the gates' saturn way station & space refinery was just one small classroom in Your vast cosmic university, one among many. ah Shiva, so we move into the evolving energies of now, as i plunge wholly into You: the gates' saturn way station & space refinery merges fully into the infinite unknown in sacred solemn trust in You. You take this awareness far beyond the human & temporal into my true home in You, as You. just as the planet is one with the solar system, & the solar system is one with the galaxy, so am i also one with You, Shiva. i rest in You, never to be parted, for the body's death is but the opening of the door for me finally to come home to You.
i have seen subtle rainbows hidden in the deep shadows of night. it's as if i am looking into the farthest reaches of space & see others looking back at me, smiling & waving hello. they gently assure that sublime shining wonders are on the rise. they say that the energies within the form have full intention to bless & nurture regardless of my shy, cautious reception. they assure me that i am completely love-immersed, even in harsh circumstances & human neglect & rejection. they say that to exist is amazing & that love does not need a form to express: that love is like gravity, like sun, water. it holds us in close encounter on this planet, preparing us for new adventures in maya, challenging human selfishness with the call to group work & global cooperation. the rainbows of the night shadows are prophets & healers, giving encouragement in the deepest gloom & despair, emissaries of the soothing darkness that Shiva settles over one to promote wise insight. the seed is buried in darkness to grow & send out hands reaching for the light, drinking sunshine with the whole body & rejoicing with no consideration for the shadows of the night to come. Shiva, thank You for the guidance of the inner rainbow, taking its rise in the cultivated heart. even in the disquiet of utmost darkness & disintegration, You are my strength. OM NAMAH SHIVAYA
esotericists say that the earth itself is deep in a spiritual initiation by its solar teacher, the sun, who holds the earth clasped close in an optimal loving orbit with all the other attending planetary acolytes. the guru sun with encircling solar system devotees holds darshan in its ashram of time, space & locality. humanity is the precipitator, actualizing the initiation, triggering systemic refinement. this is akin to the caterpillar's quantum leap into butterfly, a winged being capable of rising to new dimensions previously unattainable, unknown. Shiva, You are in attendance at this holistic process as the ultimate progenitor & initiator, pervading everything within the quantum flux of matter. as the sun You hold the earth in Your strong arms of gravity & nurture its essence & ability to change & grow. i circle around You too, Shiva, held by Your gravity. this transformation is inevitable, vital & good & You hold me in Your loving arms just as You hold the earth in Your gravitational field while it experiences its transformative travail. Shiva, please comfort & console as we deliquesce in change, not knowing what we may become, yet open to Your grace & grateful for Your holy presence.