the openness of disclosure


Shiva, when You gave me this sadhana of sharing my journey
with You by way of poetry in a blog, it deepened my life.
i thought of wordpress as a platform for creating a webpage.
i did not realize that it is also a community
of people sharing their insights & life events from various
perspectives & interests, yet all with respectful courtesy.

poetry especially fosters this acceptance, for it is
like a finger pointing to something vital & heartfelt, as there
is the openness of disclosure & the freedom to share.

along with this, our culture & society tend to promote
focus on the gender differences between men & women.
in my sadhana on this path of Sanatana Dharma, i'm
detaching from the body-mind identity & sharing as
the observer & witness to the daily drama of this life.

because of this, i did not choose to reveal the body gender.
there have been times when gender has been assumed & i am addressed
as "sir". since i greatly value truth, i did add "wife & mother"
to my bio under the menu choice "this happened: the story".
this is where i look when i read a blog, so this seemed a good place.

Shiva, i find that each level of growth & evolution brings
the deep work of intensifying clarity & compassion.
it's like climbing a mountain, to discover a vast expanse of
mountains & plateaux going on & on into the far distance.

yet it's only the next step that i need to concern myself with.
so i focus on Your companionship, Shiva, holding Your hand,
walking on this path of inner unfoldment, always attending
to the very next step, seeking harmony & rapport with You.

Shiva, You know me by my energy-signature & essence.
i am grateful. the form is not important but the purity
of intention does matter. thank You for this opportunity
to be forthcoming & visible to others in service & gratitude to You.
OM NAMAH SHIVAYA

unleashed & released

i am like a summer storm in a dry land, bringing thunder &
towering clouds & wind but no rain. there's a lot of hopeful noise
in the sky but nothing much happens. where is my rain, Shiva? where
is the blessing that surely must come? when does this end, this time of
declaration in words, this offering to You, this small lonely
prasad that few come to share? still will i offer it, for You have
given me this sacred task to ripen me. this is the timely
opportunity to detach from the opinions of others,
to release the solemn people-pleasing child in me to go find
healing in the comfort of nature's pure serene hidden places.

let her walk with her sad, lonely craving, the emptiness inside
calling out to be filled. let her live patiently without answers,
bereft of understanding & shorn of meaning. let her suffer.

& let it be enough. let it be finished, paid in full, unleashed
& released. done. shelter me, Shiva, cover me over with Your
holy love as i become free from this spent larval form i now
inhabit while it morphs into the mature adult version: the
one where i have wings & am not crawling on my belly for food.
may the nectar of flowers empower me home to You, Shiva!

called by many names

the time to look within that the pandemic provides
is a healing & integrative blessing, though strict.
i know enough now not to confuse the wrapping of
the gift with the real gift, which i receive gratefully.

Shiva, i see that the sanatana dharma came
to the west as theosophy & esotericism,
telling the holistic tale that bridges cultures & lifestyles.
we are more alike than different, preferring love
over violence, gentleness over cruelty.

we surge forward as a multitude toward the light.
we stray only to learn the true nature of our need.
we are ignited, blazing like a fire in winter,
as we return to You, who are called by many names.
You bring the sanatana dharma, ageless wisdom,
the effulgence of eternal truth in daily life.

the pandemic is the current opportunity
to go within, emerging into Your dear embrace
as we shed our ragged & broken crusty old skins
for the supple skin of a newborn child in this world
as we return to You, who are called by many names.