some things just stubbornly insist on happening, mo matter how many corrective measures we take in full sincerity of purpose to change the outcome. we do all that we know how to amend it, without result.
we term it destiny, fate, karma, yet still we determinedly work to change it to a desired agreeable outcome. we are called proactive, take-charge, fired-up, & are encouraged in our actions by the opinions of others near us & by all we have ever learned in society.
repeatedly we throw ourselves into doing what it seems to take to obtain our chosen outcome, yet somehow again, so strangely, still nothing changes in a fundamental way. words are said, promises are made, new plans are put in place & yet, amazingly, nothing different happens.
this is the point at which we need to realize that vaster forces are in motion & they are beyond individual efforts to change, no matter how sincere our urges or how deserving of merit we are.
we are now in the midst of a lesson we need to learn, although we may not be aware of it. this is the time to be the detached observer & to stand back, unattached, as events play out, watching carefully for our cue to act & the timing of the action. we are not in control of events, although we can learn to adapt & flow without resistance.
we learn to be grateful that we can grow in awareness & compassion, even here in this audience participation comedy-drama. it's called maya lila, the laughter & play of this weird world of stories that hint not to take it all dead seriously. a strong sense of humor becomes an excellent survival strategy down here in the maya of jagat, a place where we must learn to turn to the higher powers for help. the whole universe is waiting for us to mature & take our place as co-creators with the Holy Ones, such as Shiva, who is no doubt cheering us on at this very pregnant moment of opportunity.
Shiva, when You gave me this sadhana of sharing my journey with You by way of poetry in a blog, it deepened my life. i thought of wordpress as a platform for creating a webpage. i did not realize that it is also a community of people sharing their insights & life events from various perspectives & interests, yet all with respectful courtesy.
poetry especially fosters this acceptance, for it is like a finger pointing to something vital & heartfelt, as there is the openness of disclosure & the freedom to share.
along with this, our culture & society tend to promote focus on the gender differences between men & women. in my sadhana on this path of Sanatana Dharma, i'm detaching from the body-mind identity & sharing as the observer & witness to the daily drama of this life.
because of this, i did not choose to reveal the body gender. there have been times when gender has been assumed & i am addressed as "sir". since i greatly value truth, i did add "wife & mother" to my bio under the menu choice "this happened: the story". this is where i look when i read a blog, so this seemed a good place.
Shiva, i find that each level of growth & evolution brings the deep work of intensifying clarity & compassion. it's like climbing a mountain, to discover a vast expanse of mountains & plateaux going on & on into the far distance.
yet it's only the next step that i need to concern myself with. so i focus on Your companionship, Shiva, holding Your hand, walking on this path of inner unfoldment, always attending to the very next step, seeking harmony & rapport with You.
Shiva, You know me by my energy-signature & essence. i am grateful. the form is not important but the purity of intention does matter. thank You for this opportunity to be forthcoming & visible to others in service & gratitude to You. OM NAMAH SHIVAYA
i am like a summer storm in a dry land, bringing thunder &
towering clouds & wind but no rain. there's a lot of hopeful noise
in the sky but nothing much happens. where is my rain, Shiva? where
is the blessing that surely must come? when does this end, this time of
declaration in words, this offering to You, this small lonely
prasad that few come to share? still will i offer it, for You have
given me this sacred task to ripen me. this is the timely
opportunity to detach from the opinions of others,
to release the solemn people-pleasing child in me to go find
healing in the comfort of nature's pure serene hidden places.
let her walk with her sad, lonely craving, the emptiness inside
calling out to be filled. let her live patiently without answers,
bereft of understanding & shorn of meaning. let her suffer.
& let it be enough. let it be finished, paid in full, unleashed
& released. done. shelter me, Shiva, cover me over with Your
holy love as i become free from this spent larval form i now
inhabit while it morphs into the mature adult version: the
one where i have wings & am not crawling on my belly for food.
may the nectar of flowers empower me home to You, Shiva!
the time to look within that the pandemic provides
is a healing & integrative blessing, though strict.
i know enough now not to confuse the wrapping of
the gift with the real gift, which i receive gratefully.
Shiva, i see that the sanatana dharma came
to the west as theosophy & esotericism,
telling the holistic tale that bridges cultures & lifestyles.
we are more alike than different, preferring love
over violence, gentleness over cruelty.
we surge forward as a multitude toward the light.
we stray only to learn the true nature of our need.
we are ignited, blazing like a fire in winter,
as we return to You, who are called by many names.
You bring the sanatana dharma, ageless wisdom,
the effulgence of eternal truth in daily life.
the pandemic is the current opportunity
to go within, emerging into Your dear embrace
as we shed our ragged & broken crusty old skins
for the supple skin of a newborn child in this world
as we return to You, who are called by many names.