william gates: 1931–2019

i'm glad you are free of the ailing body that held you down &
the old brain that forced you into the role of prisoner, bowed & 
bent. biology is the prison &, when the gates are all flung
open finally, that is freedom from the body's binding thrall!

i have been strolling through the playground of my memories with you.
we had such wholesome fun together, my dear helpmeet & playmate!
i rejoice in your light & love that yet flows to me in nurture.
it circulates freely: love knows where to go. nothing–neither hand
nor heart–can hold it back. you poured it out as blessing when you were
released from the body's burden, & now it flows like great rivers
throughout all the thirsty continents of this life. it flows back to
its origin in the great mystery, as you, too, have done, as
you continue to do every day, as do all my thoughts of you.
i rejoice that you are free of the body that held you down &
the brain that finally yielded to your peaceful liberation.

thank You, Shiva, for being my safety net when i was falling
into singularity. You caught me. You hold me yet, for You
 are everywhere, of infinite arms & gentle nectarean
grace. You are my refuge & partner beyond all biology.

the open doorway of the sky

things that float & fly trigger primal joy & amazement in us:
birds, butterflies, bubbles & balloons; airplanes, spaceships,
ufos. they draw our attention up to the sky, to the sun, moon & stars
& other wonders too precious & arcane to divide into
diagrams of nouns, verbs & their modifiers, arranged much like
bricks in a wall to assure properly predictable results.

things that float & fly need abundant space, emptiness, freedom, an
openness so vast that the human mind pours itself into a
quietude that watches & wonders without structured boundaries.
You came to me in that way, Shiva, through the open doorway of
the sky, & You established Your home in my heart. You made of me
a temple, a place of worship & rejoicing over all these
long years since my youth. You were my nameless, invisible
companion & confidant & i was the one who held You close.

now, at the endgame of this life, You have given me Your name to
strengthen my sadhana & to encourage me to continue
on here. i'm as though among the singers in a chorus, holding
the notes steady & pouring my heart into the great thundering
sonic concluding celebration of soaring sound. You lift me
skyward, Shiva; You take me to that high place inside that feels like
being on a mountain top with all the shining mystery spread
before me. i fall into You, into that mystery, & it
is none other than the vast undivided Self that exists free
of definition & delusion. here, at the outer edge of words,
things that float, fly & fall need boundless space, emptiness & freedom.