suddenly Kailash

before the pandemic, You inspire me to add an ample image of
Your home, Mount Kailash, to the wall above my altar, Shiva. for more
than two years now the image graces my room, radiating silent
blessings & drawing my gaze upward to ponder its magnetism.
oh Shiva, what a seed You have planted in me! it spans dimensions!

suddenly Kailash is emerging from its picture high on the wall!
i feel the earth trembling in preparation, like the ground underfoot
before a train barrels into view far down the track & moving fast.
it's huge, massive, yet it opens itself to me as i, too, open
to it, & contact is made. Kailash silently enters into me,
through & through, in an interpenetrating deep synaptic instant.

Kailash fills my room, overflows my heart, stretches my mind wide open!
love has found me again! Kailash is a mystery primed to trigger a
powerful psychic download. Kailash is a transducer for cosmic
power, which is stepped down by the galactic presence to our local
representative, the Sun. the Sun then relays it on to Kailash,
who holds it for all. Shiva, You are the mobile unit of Kailash,
the compelling human face needful to ground the divine presence here.

in the end, it all folds up back into itself as the Supreme Source.
yet maya's magic mirror multiplies images, & Kailash stands
at the head of them all, as a mountain rightfully does. suddenly
Kailash has come off the wall & into my heart, carrying the crisp
transcendent scent of mountain air & mystery, inviting approach.
thank You, Shiva, for bringing me home to meet the cosmic family.

i can now fully understand why the sage Lao Tsu wisely says:
"without going outside, you may know the whole world. without looking through
the window, you may see the ways of heaven." Om Namah Shivaya!
 

now that i know Your name

i came to You late, Shiva, at age seventy five. although You came
early to me when i was thirteen, i didn't know who You were, & i
drifted elsewhere. i didn't know how to cultivate the connection, &
maya simply blew me away. You came again when i was fourteen.

the out of body journey that You took me on became a living
seed planted deep within my memory to continue informing
me as an adult. You showed me the holiness of this existence.
You encouraged me with the vision of my true divine potential.
You wrapped me in love. but for years i was like a blind person in a
strange new room, feeling my way through unknown mysterious obstacles
on my way to an equally cryptic & obscure destination.

finally, when my old life is dead & gone & i huddle amidst
the wreckage & the shards of the remaining scraps, finally, You come.
You come in response to the collapse of my beleaguered walls, roof &
foundation. You come because at last i am wide open & asking
for You, calling out, even though i don't yet know Your name. my heart calls
out the loudest of all, for the heart knows far more than the head alone.

& behold! events transpire that bring me to You at last, & You send
a helper with Your everlasting mantra: Om Namah Shivaya.
gradually the blinders fall away as my sadhana deepens,
& i take refuge in You via Your mantra: in You, my chosen
Deity who also chose me, & did so before i knew Your name.
i immerse myself in You, I throw myself off the cliff of the world
into the limitless ocean of You. i paint pictures of You, write
heartfelt poems to You, sing freely to You & i chant Your mantras.

my room looks like a museum honoring You, & even more like
a temple in full swing of celebrating Your sweet sacred presence.
in fact, Shiva, You genuinely do reside here now with me &
in me. You are living through me & i am drawn by You to all that
can assist me to come even closer to You. actually, You
take me to the consummation of my long journey to You, Shiva.

now that i know Your name, we cannot be separated. we are one
life & i am Your expression in the human world, as are others.
it's a mystery & i only have training wheels for exploring
such arcane wonders. it's all Your body anyway, just as i too
am Your body. because i don't know what else to do, i throw myself
upon You to know myself as one with You, vividly & purely.
i won't let go. i won't stop & i won't be sidetracked. You, Shiva, are
my swadharma, my destiny & fulfillment. blessed is Your name,
given as medicine for all. blessed is Om Namah Shivaya.

eyebrows & galaxies

"there are galaxies swirling in Your eyebrows," she remarks teasingly
to Shiva, Who blesses her with His acceptance. she elaborates,
"we are everywhere, like space. we blend in telepathic rapport &
communion, which is dimensionless & beyond measurement. we are
formless pure consciousness." she continues: "eyebrows & galaxies are
artifacts of the physical plane, temporary & changing with
time." she glances at Shiva & is encouraged to go on when He
smiles invitingly. "both eyebrows & galaxies also have pleasing curves
whose beauty hints at sattvic energy," she says, drawing a deep breath.
"& they both are made of many smaller parts that constitute the whole."

"i'm claiming that seeing galaxies swirling in Your eyebrows is like
saying, 'You Who are formless & cosmic are also approachable
here on the limited level of the physical plane.'" she nods for
emphasis. "seeking You & communing with You places me in that
auspicious cosmic curve too—that sattvic smile—& is like being bathed
in blessings." she shyly continues, "Shiva, You radiate such sweet
sattvic energy that complete good will & loving responsiveness
is very natural in Your presence." she winks at Him with a smile.
"& You draw the playfulness out with the warm magnetism of Your
acceptance." Shiva chuckles & winks back. "if eyebrows & galaxies
are so closely connected," He remarks, "you can be sure, with the right
effort, to reveal that all is truly one down at the deep taproot."
"You mean," she says, "that i am You & You are me & we are all
together?" she grins, "you got it!" Shiva laughs, "now let's go have fun in
maya's marvelous mesmerizing drama of the day!" so it goes,
continues & ever begins yet again. om namah Shivaya!

a marker on the path

it is as if i have been granted access to a dimension
previously unknown to me. evening enfolds, & the other
residents are in bed as the mind's silence now invites peace to
embrace. i relax in my recliner, contemplating the soft
surrounding space stretching above me & all around. my eyes lose
their concrete focus & widen into the shifting shadow &
light of the dancing air. it is as if the focus of my eyes
has adjusted to a more rarified realm. i can no longer
separate the vision of the physical eye from the mind's eye.

gradually i become aware of two vague beings on either
side of me. i slowly understand that they are benefactors,
healers, & that i am one of their charges. we communicate
wordlessly as they share their healing energy, which i accept,
leaning back in my recliner. i come to understand that this
interpenetrating higher dimension is always present,
freely offering access to uplifting energies. my own
vibratory rate has apparently quickened enough now to
allow contact. this information flows into me to comfort
with pure intent. all is warmly radiant with the light of truth
& the fragrance of cosmic love interpenetrates everything.

i relax into the healing blessing of this new frequency.
awareness has deepened & expanded to include so much more!
even after the passage of time back here in this world of flesh,
blood & bone, i can feel the benevolent subtle presence of
this more refined vibratory realm, a place of healing indeed!

thank you for the warm encouragement, Shiva! i am heartened &
energized to continue on, for i have now experienced
that which was previously known through the intellect alone. though
that is is not my goal, Shiva, it stands as a marker on the path
of return to You, who are the focus of my attention.
You alone dwell in my heart, which now sings Om Namah Shivaya!

the nectar of Your name

once i was a convenience & a commodity, addressed by the
title of the social role i fulfilled--but no more! that old yoke was
lifted & i walked away, turned my back on it all & moved deeper
into the vast mystery. it had been calling to me for most of
my life & now i am free to go, for i am done with the world's work.

only the limitations of my own abilities restrain me
now. my actions are no longer shaped to please the expectations
& demands of others. they come spontaneously in natural
response to circumstances & i observe without interference,
seeing that events come & go, rise & fall, cycling repeatedly.

You alone remain constant in this lifetime, Shiva. Your name flows smooth
like pure nectar on the tongue & the heart opens the door wide into
borderless love. sweetness arises warm within. this is the medicine
needed now for the healing of this wounded human world, to soothe the
weary people crying out in wordless supplication for Your grace.

the unseen holy power of the mantra can usher in that grace.
Shiva, Your name repeated over time forms a strong protective field
& the nectar of Your name flows like a slow infusion of Your love.
there is no cure for the pain of the world but there is an anodyne:
OM NAMAH SHIVAYA!

a thousand bows of gratitude

there is a great organizing power in the universe
that calls us forth to develop & share our skills & gifts,
that will repeatedly offer opportunity to practice
& realms that are needful of our unfolding abilities.

dear Shiva, thank You for this auspicious divine healing time.
thank You for every happening that frees me from my shell.
thank You for receiving & accepting what i offer You.
a thousand bows of gratitude for OM NAMAH SHIVAYA!