the first thing that i understand clearly from You, Shiva–looking back
over the years–is the importance of dwelling on the good, the true
& the beautiful. all else is just not relevant to my purpose:
aligning my energies with influences that benefit & bless.
i had to want to turn away from darkness, bitterness & despair.
i had to do it again & again for years, turning away from
the old shadows, facing into the light. You kept urging me onward,
Shiva, sometimes with gentle sweetness & sometimes with a lashing whip.
thank You for being the goldsmith to my jagged lump of grimy gold, melting me down to the bare bones & building me up again, all smooth
& shiny to reflect the golden light of Your divine healing love.
may this mirror You have made of me dazzle the darkness with Your love.
satyam, shivam, sundaram: om namah Shivaya! om haum joom sah!
when i look at my earlier life, it is as if i can see
a broken mirror that has been pieced together & glued upon
a firm surface. this, my earthly identity, is the broken
mirror, flawed, fragmented & in pieces. You, Shiva, are the firm
surface that holds all the broken pieces together, steadily
present in the background of awareness as i do my duties.
here in this maya of jagat, in the midst of all the shattered
& fractured illusions & dreams, You are that companion who holds
firm to dharma for the well-being of us all. You help to make
the vision clear before us, that we may see ourselves endlessly
held together & bound through divine compassion & bold wisdom.
the patterns made by the cracks in the mirror are but a needed
part of the story. everything has a story to tell, like the
wrinkles on an elderly face or the scars upon a body.
oh my Beloved, You upon Whom my earthly life depends, Who
reveal my true identity to me: Your name is on my lips.
ah Shiva, my Shiva! the sweetness of Your name melts upon my
tongue like warm honey & fills the heart with bliss. You are my very
ground of being, my oxygen & water, & i say Your name
as tonic for the healing of us all: OM NAMAH SHIVAYA!
this broken mirror shines with Your holy light, Shiva, my Shiva!
this dream so grips us that we do not see
we are insubstantial wisps of smoke & bone,
blurred reflections in a dusty mirror.
ah, the beauty of the shifting colors,
the subtle hint of light & shadow glimpsed
beyond the swift moving montage of form!
this dream of maya invokes the senses
with the bright promise of fulfilled desire.
here, rainbows are mystic stringed instruments
in the hands of the heavenly devas.
ah! the beauty of the shifting colors,
swirling in that sweet varied melody!
the dream glows before us enticingly,
enchanting in this lengthy human sleep.
yet i do awaken from the dream's spell
resuming my firm stance, cleaving to You
in sincere sadhana & devotion
far beyond the dream's enticing allure,
to blend my heart & mind with You, Shiva.
again i persevere in Your service
as i have vowed, & so i do remain.
i will stand steadfast with You, dear Shiva,
upon the skyclad heights of Mount Kailash.