the daily critique of people & events runs on one channel. the witness of this drama watches it from another channel. where do i place my voluntary attention & heartfelt choice? at each moment there is a purposeful return to the witness. over & over the urge manifests to see truly, clearly, not to indulge in the ego drama of fierce feelings, needs & iron preferences enclosing like binding chains & blinders. if nothing more is done for sadhana than this alone, at least this much is completed to coax & invite deeper awareness. hence the mind's tv is tirelessly tuned to the witness channel, forming the habit of divine detachment as a point of view. it will eventually happen that the tv is turned off & that there are no channels at all available any more. now comes the singularity, the formless blending foretold by quantum physics & the upanishads & psychedelics. as the event horizon nears, i surrender the mind to You. ah, it's better that my heart should thirst & pine after You, Shiva, than to encounter the hungry ghosts of the active agile mind!
events burst freely into being, filled with their possibilities. all existence is a vivid burst of creative exploration, magnificent with enfolding nuance, color, fragrance, mystery. Shiva, i am blessed to be aware of sharing this event with You, blended & fused in essence & expression, fluid & calm, contained. we commingle yet include all, as a galaxy includes its stars within its own wheeling course in the vaster dynamic universe. iterations & reflections of unity cycle & orbit around the originating cause in an ongoing creation. what a blessing, Shiva, to be dancing this tandava with You, celebrating the liberation of the mind from the burden of identification, domination, judgement & conscription! events burst freely into being, filled with their possibilities!
for aeons uncounted You have abided. for aeons uncounted i have sought You through the denseness of the concealing flesh, through the dark of the awakening heart. this is the time of our fated meeting, the union of soul & spirit confirmed. the world shivers in anticipation of this grand cosmic union, long foretold. the soul has proclaimed this primal vision to the stuttering, stumbling slow mind who carefully counts the syllables of a poem on the fingers of both hands. now the poem has emerged from the pen, spilling out upon this clean white paper. in this very manner continents shift & cosmic patterns align in the sky. for uncounted aeons we glide in dance, turning again through the stars & the dust, trailing the veil which no longer conceals the bright light of the awakening heart.
even though i seem to be identified with the functioning of the mind, even though i fall short in many ways & at times grope blindly in darkness, even though i frequently sink into a bleak forgetting & yearn for help, You do not abandon me & You stand ever-present in the heart's viewpoint. You do not abandon me because You are the very source of who i am. only the mind cares about abandonment & measuring up to ideals. only the mind compares & judges, approves & condemns & sets stern values. only the mind can turn away from You, lost in the transient storms of thought, yet You are always available to the call of the sincere open heart. You are available, Shiva, always standing nearby, ever supporting. i know this as i become aware of the entrapment of the agile mind & therefore i persevere in remaining steady, grateful for Your presence. this small passing mote of human dust gives thanks to You, the divine source of dust & bright stars & swirling galaxies, coming to me in a way i can grasp. i salute You, Shiva, & rejoice in Your pure light & Your deep mystery.
when i talk to You, Shiva, detachment slowly happens. no longer can i repeat the tired old stories in my head. they dissolve & show their essential unreality as patterns that keep repeating habit-like in the mind. they are just snapshots of a passing moment, inflated, grasped, given importance by other's firm opinions. the mind is choked with all this mental debris, mirroring the rafts of plastic garbage cluttering our blue oceans & the poisons leaching from dumps, fouling the groundwater. i won't go there anymore. i feel the danger. i know. i turn my back on the chatter of inner dialogue & face toward You, Shiva, who has shown me this wisdom. You are the antidote to the poison i have swallowed & i hold fast to You, placing You foremost in the mind. purify my thoughts, Shiva, please remind me of You. i want You to fill the mind with Your clarity & light. i want to fall into You like a rushing waterfall! catch me like the ocean that i may dissolve into You!