i’m not obedient to society. i am restless & questioning, persistent in pushing against the edges & borders. i don’t identify with culture or race or nation or gender or wealth or title. the body appears human. the indweller is vaster, more inclusive than named alone.
ah, Shiva! the mind can see & say a lot, yet it all so swiftly changes & flows on. only You can remain constant in this realm. only You are truly present within me when the whole construct crashes down to the ground.
the transformative cycle begins anew in this realm of infinite variety where i cleave to You as the only constant. You are my magnetic north, my sun & moon. i take up this changing role for You alone, as Your expression of transformation. thus, i’m not obedient to society. i am Yours alone, Shiva, embodied here in this shining mystery as Your blessing.
what could i possibly write about, think about or do
that is not in reality done by You, Lord Shiva?
there is nothing else but You, my Lord. all my words are but
clouds in the vast sky of You, drifting in the wind of You.
out of the light in the eyes of strangers, You can emerge
like swift invisible fireworks that light up my shy heart,
linking me with You in powerful silent explosion.
how can i forget You who dazzle with Your effulgence?
the plot of this human story, like walls, encloses me.
enforcers on the rooftops of my mind shoot down upon
freedom fighters determinedly smuggling contraband thoughts,
yet i press forward with them anyway, dodging sniper fire.
a fierce joke is this maya, long skirts hiding combat boots!
i am laughing & crying, as i also stand apart,
while gazing upon this lovely mesmerizing drama,
wild compassion overflowing the floodgates of my heart.
there is nothing else but You, Shiva. all my words are but
clouds in the vast sky of You, drifting in the wind of You.
all i'm ever loving is You, Shiva --
for all is spun out of You
& threaded through & throughout
the tapestry of this maya.
only You observe through these eyes,
only You warm this body.
my wordlessness is Yours too,
& my words as well, my silence.
i can only find You inside
what i thought was me & mine.
i look for me & i'm gone.
only awareness remains --
even this is You, Lord Shiva,
as we dance this dance in tandem!
the seed is the flower, the fruit, the tree,
existing at once in the heart's greenhouse,
in that realm where time doesn't play its game,
drawing things sequentially through our minds
like a comic strip to amuse devas!
i dwell in a realm
of endless mirrors,
i myself a dream,
writing a poem
about a woman
who sees that the world
is a dream & she
now writes a poem
about this event.
and next, Lord Shiva
wakes me up with a
bang & a shake &
a warm hearty laugh.
He takes hold of me
& opens my eyes --
& i am at home,
at home, at home now
in Lord Shiva's arms.
