i keep returning to the image of the pool in the forest
of japan. it is central in the artwork painted on the low
lacquered table that my parents purchased in tokyo. the painting
offers mystic access to the portal that the pool really is.
other dimensions impinge into our world via such portals.
underneath the lacquer in the painting, the peaceful private scene
seems to hint at subtle secrets & mysteries, if one would but
linger for a while by the side of the serene pool; if one would
but gaze, long & unfocussed, into the coolly soothing waters
that gently touch the smoothly rounded stones waiting at water's edge.
i keep returning to that tranquil pool in the deep cool forest
of japan. i wonder whose eyes may peer out & contemplate me
from the shifting shadows of the nearby trees. what dark rich fragrance
may rise like a questing spirit from the leaf-strewn earth stretching out
into the timeless magical realm between realities. i
easily slip into resonance with the silent magnetic
yearning of this mystical portal. i feel soothingly softened.
ah, there is so much HARD in this heavy world! how sweet to become
soft & yielding for a while, as the eternal mystery makes
its slow way through all available channels. i am drenched with it,
all shiny & wet with the birth fluid of this very moment.
hello Shiva! You must surely be the Lord of Portals, for there
are so many open portals of passage to Your side! thank You
for the tender intimate communions with wonder & magic
that You have freely shared with me over the years & under the
banner of love. one day soon we will sit together by this pool
& touch its chill waters, honoring it as one of the varied
hidden portals placed roundabout as a blessing to humankind.
i will wait for You, Shiva, by the pool in the restful forest.
a quick storm blows in, rolling & flashing through the huddled mountains in the springtime afternoon,
churning & darkening the sky slowly to slate. i stand outside watching an orb move
through the fallow field, appearing as bright as a firefly at first, yet nearing & becoming
obviously much larger & more amazing, weaving from side to side in serpentine fashion:
a ball of fire the size of a human heart meanders up the ragged field, gliding freely
like a sentient being exploring a new place, lingering, then speeding on, alive! You!
it is You, Shiva, touching my life again, sending wonders to me like tender love letters!
You hover two meters up in the air now, the mountain before you watching through many eyes.
All existence seems to take a breath, full & still, waiting for a message, a resolution.
You, a magical intelligence from an unknown realm, are spearing me with astonishment
as You turn & glide back & forth down the field the way You came, curving smoothly through the charged air.
bright & buoyant, radiating Your presence, You pause for a timeless moment, a quiet instant.
i am caught up in the pure wonder of Your livingness as You are poised in the lucent air.
suddenly, as if a decision is made, You swiftly cut through the air, move away from me,
& plunge into the woods on the far side, returning into the mystery, departing here.
i am hanging off the cliff of my amazement, feeling something hard crack open deep inside,
feeling the pulsing powerful wholeness of You pulling me from my makeshift shelter of words
& plans & desires & lists & laundry & cooking & that necessary car maintenance.
oh Shiva! You know how to split & splinter my careful house of scheduled events into scrap!
a few days later i follow Your path through the trees: i know that You are not done with me yet.
a recently fallen old tree lays in a clearing by the creek, offers a log to sit on.
i meditate there for hours by the water, downloading the message that You have left for me,
feeling the key of it fit into the keyhole of the lock i didn't know was on my heart,
sensing You seat Yourself there centrally. You have come to remind me that I am vowed to You
& all else is my field of service & cannot replace You as primary & focal.
without You my life is scattered dust & ashes, grey & choking, smothering fragile new growth.
with You all takes on a magical aura of wordless communication, hyperreal.
Shiva, You are my primal addiction & without You i quietly suffer & sicken.
You are the essence of life & the body & personality serve You honorably.
You are the indwelling life that gives form its allure. i seek You & release focus on form.
Thank You for the gift of knowing Your name & the ability to recognize Your presence!
THIS HAPPENED 