following Your guidance, Shiva, i continue to review
my life story & the blinders placed there by memory &
society, finally revealed & stripped of their power.
You have ripped the bandage from the wound & healed it with Your touch.
You healed it with Your touch, strongly resembling a surgical
procedure, as the whole is freed from the iron grip of the
presumptuous part. i need a new perspective now. it's time.
the upheaval of the quaking earth i long considered firm
beneath my feet has flung me out of my resting place & tossed
me in the air. & that is how i learned to fly & look from
there on high to see the patterns playing out in a vast expanse.
i see the story scrolling by, the hidden now revealed--&
this life makes sense, i can see it now. this life makes sense at last!
this life makes sense at last as the hidden stands revealed,
shaped by Your holy hands to prepare me for the part i play.
all i've learned in the past must now be dropped, must be left behind,
just like the empty chrysalis when the butterfly takes flight
& forgets all that had come before as if it were a dream.
Shiva, i have been following Your instructions
to review my life from the mature perspective
that sees a long lifetime of patterns & events.
i am to release the stories from all who have
offered their opinions of me throughout this life.
i am to let go of my conclusions based on
hearsay & social pressure to follow a script.
i am to welcome those events that light up with
meaning & life & a quickened spring in my step.
i am to honor my dreamtime intuition
& to notice hints & clues left in my night dreams.
i am to respect all that warms & lights me up,
all the playful creativity expressing
like sudden patches of wild violets tempting
from the beaten path of well-trod obedience.
i am to recompose my current life story
now that i see the patterns of the old version.
all those characters are dead or far away now
& i am free of the weight of the burden they
unknowingly placed upon my shoulders & mind.
there are none to convince, none to resist either.
only i know my story, as You also do
because You are teaching me how to see it now
& know it as my genuine experience
through the healing power of poetry & prose.
I have been following Your instructions, Shiva,
mellowing into age & gaining depth & peace.