for five years now i have seen my life history in a new way. before You came to the forefront of my regard, Shiva, i saw a random collection of chaotic & confusing events that i tried to make my way through as best i could. i was aware of a general guidance in my life that took me from place to place & adventure to adventure. i always heeded it, for i knew that a great power was present. i was attuned to that. You finally show Yourself to me at this time of the endgame, the final act of the play. i didn't know it would become so intense & immediate, right at the center of awareness. because of the quickening Your presence provides, these past events & adventures fall into a coherent story revealing the awakening soul coming forth at last. there are no loose ends any more, no dreadful mistakes or shameful blunders or sorrows. after eighty-one years, patterns emerge resolving confusion. it all fits together clearly now, every one of the baffling puzzle pieces is snugly & meaningfully aligned in place. i know that beauty & goodness is emerging from it. i know that the story spilling out is intended to be a blessing & an offering. i know that i am much more than the body & its history. i can feel the holy ripeness of this time. this is where You come in, Shiva. Please teach me kindly to quiet the mind & calm the inner activity, that i may mirror You to the outer world more completely. i humbly invite You to intervene where necessary. my life is Yours already; please help me to sustain it with grace, kindness & open-hearted humor, that Your radiant light may stream without obstruction through me, even here in this place of final attunement & blessing.