Shiva, i forgot that Your timely cameo appearances are often coupled with deep inner need & suffering. such profound intensity sends powerful impulses throbbing, cascading through the ethers, which serves as Your invitation. it calls You to me. thus, You explain the usefulness & value of suffering to the awakening soul seeking non-attachment. You tell me that the more powerfully impacted the ego is by things, the less able it is to maintain its iron-strong grip on its favorite worldviews. over time & repeated impacts, the ego becomes more & more unsettled, & therefore more likely to diminish. it becomes weary of hanging on, & can consider other possibilities & perspectives. what is the ego? the ego is the mind's devoted interface tool, the product of primal biological survival instincts. it is convinced of the absolute necessity that the body continue to exist. the ego is a survival strategy, determined that it must be right. when the body is worn down by sufficient suffering, especially the low-level continuing suffering, attachment to the known & certain weakens & decreases. new space opens up in the mind, & humble inner purification takes place deep within the unexplored mind & in the heart. the thoroughness of this purification is necessary to bring the hidden darkness to light & to move through it with dignity & bravery. hold me through this one, Shiva! hold me tightly! together we can comfort the bewildered personality who kneels in exhaustion upon her knees in weary & sincere prayer & mantra. this is in Your hands now, Shiva. i am as powerless here as a small child, except to cling to You with all the many hands of my heart, as what once seemed to be two is now known to be One.