identity – THIS HAPPENED

when i look at my earlier life, it is as if i can see
a broken mirror that has been pieced together & glued upon
a firm surface. this, my earthly identity, is the broken
mirror, flawed, fragmented & in pieces. You, Shiva, are the firm
surface that holds all the broken pieces together, steadily
present in the background of awareness as i do my duties.

here in this maya of jagat, in the midst of all the shattered
& fractured illusions & dreams, You are that companion who holds
firm to dharma for the well-being of us all. You help to make
the vision clear before us, that we may see ourselves endlessly
held together & bound through divine compassion & bold wisdom.
the patterns made by the cracks in the mirror are but a needed
part of the story. everything has a story to tell, like the
wrinkles on an elderly face or the scars upon a body.

oh my Beloved, You upon Whom my earthly life depends, Who
reveal my true identity to me: Your name is on my lips.
ah Shiva, my Shiva! the sweetness of Your name melts upon my
tongue like warm honey & fills the heart with bliss. You are my very
ground of being, my oxygen & water, & i say Your name
as tonic for the healing of us all: OM NAMAH SHIVAYA!
this broken mirror shines with Your holy light, Shiva, my Shiva!

You have given me a place to stand steadfast, an identity beyond the human-born, a way to face into life with dignity. You opened Your heart to me & i entered, steeped in ignorance & blind arrogant youth. long have i kept Your memory deep within, but like a ruby wrapped in ragged burlap or precious art forgotten in an attic. no longer, Lord Shiva, no, never again will i dare turn away from Your instruction, for age has given me the wisdom & love to venerate only the dearest blessings & You are the one who includes all of them! You are that which remains when the transient is no longer the focus of attention. oh my Lord Shiva, how brightly You do shine at the midheaven of mature awareness! i now can place myself in this time-bound realm only in relation to You, Lord Shiva, who have given me a place to stand steadfast, an identity beyond the human-born.