what i understand of divine & devic beings, due to my own
experience, is that they have no need to assert their will upon
us. they are so open & so pure that their goodness simply flows out
of them to permeate all surroundings. one really wants to help them,
with a sincere urgency to please such a radiant being. it
feels utterly natural to do that which the divine beings ask,
for their sincerity & purity is quite inviting when known
through subtle direct perception. everything is openly revealed
& nothing can be hidden here within this realm of sattvic sacred
existence-bliss. all is known spontaneously by telepathy
rather than through the clumsy, awkward words of the derivative mind.
it is as if now we are all focussed beyond the mind within a
shared group experience of truth, felt deeply & intuitively.
we are immersed together, & thus we are co-experiencing
at the same time in a relaxed & blissful familiarity.
in essence, we are consciousness woven together in a fabric
of belonging: we are family. it is as if a great, highly
evolved being split itself into several entities having
specialized, distinctive functions. we each do what comes naturally
to us which, by its nature, benefits our divine devic parent.
we are aspects of this vaster being, agents who have missions to
accomplish when incarnating into the maya of this sad world.
hence we are certainly not alone in this existence, even though
we may feel temporarily as if we are. the truth will always
be revealed in its time. we need only patience & a receptive
heart to establish that. this is one thing i was shown in a vision
once, & my life experience continues to support it fully.
the divine being i am an aspect of is Shiva. He is one
who can appear multiple times in many forms, while yet seeming to
be distinctly individual. language can only indicate
the actual nondual reality, but can't convey it. this
is rather like the finger, which is able to point yet cannot grasp.
all of that is what i understand of divine & devic beings:
it's truly a small amount, yet it marks a positive place to stand
for a beginner like me. i do know that wherever i may be,
Shiva is not far from me, for in fact, we are at heart one, not two.
dear young friend & family in Shiva, when i speak of age, you
seem to hear death, probably because of your youth. but for me at
eighty-one, age is a victory, something amazing that is
given to me to rejoice in, & i do! you seem to think that
i rejoice in the nearness of death, but no! it is this life that
i rejoice in. i delight in beauty, goodness & truth. if it
doesn't relate to my purpose, i pay no attention to it.
my purpose is to celebrate life & to release the outworn,
that Shiva & i can commune together more meaningfully.
so think not that age means closer to death! age just as vividly
can mean closer to life, because i can so fully & deeply
enjoy this life now as a seasoned spiritual connoisseur.
years of arcane experience now reveal its value to me.
the universe is music. everything sings its song, shaped from primal
essence & counterpointed by a sweetly unique sound signature,
unlike any other. we meet & combine our melodies into
vast dances & soaring flights of glad praise. each & every galaxy
is a grand ongoing concert of expressive communion. solar
systems join in with their own complimentary contributions, as
each planet adds its favorite riff to the cooperative mix.
with subtle inner focus, one can hear the combined glissandos of
multiple galactic groups. it's enough to strip the body away
& release the cramped spirit to rise in ecstatic jubilation
of woven sound! we phase in & out of quantum fluctuations like
drumbeats of emphasis nearing crescendo. we dissolve formlessly
in the whirling, stirring intergalactic sea of sound vibration.
let me put it this way. when i look out my window at the rising
golden sun this morning, i am pierced by the yearning of the sweetest
sound i have ever heard. it massages me inside & out, & leaves
me gasping with the fading glory of its echo. it is the song
of the Self of the sun, praising Shiva for its life & song, much as
i also do. i, too, find that i'm essentially music reaching
for a harmonic partner: for a grand interwoven chorus of
soaring harmony, sounding like a murmuration of starlings looks.
i dissolve into that wholeness & slowly, atom by atom, i
find my home at long last as the silence between sounds smooths & soothes.
this silence holds all sound in potential. everything, from galaxy
to human, eventually returns to this deep silence & leaves
the gift of its song as a testament to a shining life. Shiva
gathers up all our songs, cherishing them in perpetuity, &
He honors them for their holy origin & for our sacrifice
in the name of goodness, beauty & the fulfillment of our dharma.
i was in death's hands, Shiva. body parts were sacrificed to survive
& cords of dark energy bound the soft flesh tightly in helplessness.
in the midst of this turmoil, You came by way of hallucinations
of warmhearted free-spirited visitors who blessed with their kindness.
You gave rollicking tuba solos & a zany doctor teaching
care of the newborn infant to new fathers through slapstick comedy.
You brought me the fellowship & laughter that strengthen, heal & comfort.
this body is an infant. i am caregiver, bringing mothering
to a damaged being, surviving the surreal medical onslaught
that swiftly changes the form & the life totally & finally.
i stumble through the nether-realms, the murky land of loss & payment
& emerge into an alien world where i have no place.
i pay the price of loss by deep soul-searching & reflection, Shiva,
drawing closer to You, yet still unseeing until i have amply
ripened, or deliquesced as butterflies do in their spun chrysalis.
You accompany & shepherd with guidance & care, leading me through
healing in many realms. when i lose my way & falter, You guide me,
urge me through the darkness to the renewal of my dedication
to the divine & sacred within the ambrosia of Your presence.
this woman's heart is given over to You, Shiva, & You shape it
into an ageless holy pattern, newly disclosed in this lifetime,
offering refuge in Your all-pervading, enfolding pure essence.
here i rest in the embrace of Your goodness, truth & beauty.
Shiva, my refuge & my beloved! i am for You & You alone!
You have shown me that every well-intentioned, upbeat & constructive thought
& feeling is nourishment for the divine forces of light, for angels
& devas & gods, for the well-being of countless blessed beings & worlds.
You have shown me how they flourish & deepen in goodness & in service.
You have also revealed to me that every negative & hate-filled thought
is food & fuel for the forces of darkness, for demons & devils
& the sly covert undermining of innocent, good & pure beings.
therefore i no longer indulge in angry, bitter, resentful feelings
nor linger in dim dull grey gloom or wearisome comparative thinking,
for i myself may then become an infectious contagion to others.
thus it is, Shiva, that i will focus on You & the many blessings
which continually urge me toward my greatest unfolding goodness.
i seek to prepare a banquet of joy for angels & devas & gods
that the beauty of kindness & the gentle caring heart may be present.
i rejoice in the generous abundance of nature, the sky, the sun,
oceans, rivers, mountains, valleys & their varied populations.
may heartfelt gratitude & sincere appreciation pour forth freely,
like honey from the honeycomb & cool refreshing rain from the heavens!
Shiva, my refuge & my beloved! i am for You & You alone!
we nourish the manvantara by pouring out our love relentlessly.