finally i find myself here at this wall with no door, looming before me so high that i cannot see the top. i have explored in all directions, roaming relentlessly, & each time i have come to that wall that has no door. no matter where i journey, the wall stands tall. i think that i take it with me, this towering wall that is built from a lifetime's conditioning & propaganda. i am like a turtle, carrying my protection. i can hide within it & never be caught in the open where danger can descend swiftly, like a fierce raptor from the clear blue cloudless sky. cracks now breach the wall & they are spreading, deepening every day. i can see light shining through the larger cracks & it flickers most temptingly in a code i'm called to decipher. in this way, the wall becomes my teacher, inviting me to heightened awareness. hence, a wall can make a prison or a fortress, depending on the point of view. for now, i am simply relieved to discern this wall & to know that it will crumble & fall when Shiva sees that the time is ripe for it. until then, please forgive me for all that i have left unsaid & for all that i cannot unsay today.