things that float & fly trigger primal joy & amazement in us:
birds, butterflies, bubbles & balloons; airplanes, spaceships,
ufos. they draw our attention up to the sky, to the sun, moon & stars
& other wonders too precious & arcane to divide into
diagrams of nouns, verbs & their modifiers, arranged much like
bricks in a wall to assure properly predictable results.
things that float & fly need abundant space, emptiness, freedom, an
openness so vast that the human mind pours itself into a
quietude that watches & wonders without structured boundaries.
You came to me in that way, Shiva, through the open doorway of
the sky, & You established Your home in my heart. You made of me
a temple, a place of worship & rejoicing over all these
long years since my youth. You were my nameless, invisible
companion & confidant & i was the one who held You close.
now, at the endgame of this life, You have given me Your name to
strengthen my sadhana & to encourage me to continue
on here. i'm as though among the singers in a chorus, holding
the notes steady & pouring my heart into the great thundering
sonic concluding celebration of soaring sound. You lift me
skyward, Shiva; You take me to that high place inside that feels like
being on a mountain top with all the shining mystery spread
before me. i fall into You, into that mystery, & it
is none other than the vast undivided Self that exists free
of definition & delusion. here, at the outer edge of words,
things that float, fly & fall need boundless space, emptiness & freedom.
ah Shiva! You often urge me to greater skill & patience,
to develop abilities & to ask more of myself.
You push me from my resting place like a fledgling from the nest
& i feel like i am falling, yet i find that i can fly.
Shiva! You will not take no for an answer though i try.
You will not let me quit nor run away. there is no retreat.
i cry, i sigh, i hide my face, i crawl beneath my blanket,
yet nonetheless i must emerge when the new day calls me forth
& i must push consciously against the current obstacle.
You give me this task to do & though i sag beneath the weight,
i will continue on for You have chosen me to do this
& thus i will though it is hard, for i know i grow from it.
ah Shiva! You often urge me to greater skill & patience.
i know that blessing emerges from this because it comes from You,
who help me spread wide my ragged wings to lift into the sky.