float – THIS HAPPENED

things that float & fly trigger primal joy & amazement in us:
birds, butterflies, bubbles & balloons; airplanes, spaceships,
ufos. they draw our attention up to the sky, to the sun, moon & stars
& other wonders too precious & arcane to divide into
diagrams of nouns, verbs & their modifiers, arranged much like
bricks in a wall to assure properly predictable results.

things that float & fly need abundant space, emptiness, freedom, an
openness so vast that the human mind pours itself into a
quietude that watches & wonders without structured boundaries.
You came to me in that way, Shiva, through the open doorway of
the sky, & You established Your home in my heart. You made of me
a temple, a place of worship & rejoicing over all these
long years since my youth. You were my nameless, invisible
companion & confidant & i was the one who held You close.

now, at the endgame of this life, You have given me Your name to
strengthen my sadhana & to encourage me to continue
on here. i'm as though among the singers in a chorus, holding
the notes steady & pouring my heart into the great thundering
sonic concluding celebration of soaring sound. You lift me
skyward, Shiva; You take me to that high place inside that feels like
being on a mountain top with all the shining mystery spread
before me. i fall into You, into that mystery, & it
is none other than the vast undivided Self that exists free
of definition & delusion. here, at the outer edge of words,
things that float, fly & fall need boundless space, emptiness & freedom.

i am floating in the night sky, a cloud in the moonlight. i have no fingers for grasping & securing, no feet for running & jumping. i have no eyes to see appearances, no mouth to speak of myself. the mind is awed by the cascading torrents of stars & disappears into silence. it's consumed by stars & silence & the rolling flow of currents of electromagnetic energy swirling up from the earth & down from mysteries invisible, unknown & unseen. the moon's gravitational field gently enfolds me as i float high in the nighttime sky, a cloud in the soft moonlight; yet i am neither deaf nor blind, merely immensely detached. perhaps my form may appear as human at times, but i would rather be a cloud soaring above earth, looking into the arcane depths of deep space where dark matter, quasars & galaxies are clumped thickly like glitter on black velvet. it's peaceful to cease being human for a little while & just to be a cloud floating in the night sky in the moonlight. it's hard to hurt a cloud. they do not bleed or complain & they mind their own business. as cloud or human, i'm an innocent expression of Shiva, who lives in every atom & holds all form together & sometimes lets it fall apart. i rest in Shiva & float where He flows, like a leaf carried by the river or a cloud in the depths of the nighttime sky. it's good that being in a human body is not a full time job!