now i know which things keep me from You: warmth of hot showers, food i prefer, wanting other people to like me. i am very happy to get them & quite unhappy in their absence. by wanting some things & not others i chop my life into bits & pieces & i lose You in the confusion. i will make You the strong thread that all the bits & pieces are strung upon. I will give You the complete garland because i want You the most, Shiva! without You my whole life is empty.
body, personality, ego: biggest problem! everything that upsets me points to all of this: irritable impatience, self-referencing, strong preferences, lack of mental discipline. You have laid it out for me clearly, Lord Shiva! i'm easily distracted by daily events. i must repeatedly train the mind to silence, to focus in the heart & third eye; above all, to hold fast to Your divine presence, Lord Shiva.