the daily happenings around me are the distractions that delay going deep within to commune with You, Shiva. life in this earthly world is focussed upon outer events. You call me away from that to journey within my inner world to the wellspring of awareness. thus i must turn my back on the social demands of the outer world. i must find that internal source from which awareness arises & flows & i must remain with that, returning always to the central knowing that "i am", even in the midst of harsh discord & downfall. Shiva, i am asking for Your help, asking You to have no mercy toward my dullness & density, my declining ability & errors of thought. hold me close & repair the damage. hold me close & bless the shy & tender, the pure & innocent deep, deep within. hold me close to You & please help me to know that You see through these eyes; You hear through these ears & You live in this world as You function through me. hold me through the soul's dark night & hold me through my own & all others' ignorant stumbling towards the promise of light. i can no longer endure the dead weight of the darkness in this world's long struggle lightwards. yet of course i must. the work is before me, as You have given, & i continue on here in this eternal now. even as i rest against You, even as You hold me & i press against You so hard & deep that only You remain, this existence does continue on. i live in You & You live through me, as me. I press my lips to Yours & You speak through me, carrying me forward beyond the distractions of the world into Your body of bliss. I thank You for Your mercy.