i was blind for much of my life, Shiva: blind to Your presence & power, to You as the essence & core of all things & beings. i was unaware & drifting. i was blind to all but the surface. the superficial outer aspect lulled me to sleep in a deep hypnotic dreaming that was decades in length & deadening. yet night turns to day inevitably, thus i finally awaken when You relentlessly thrust me forth from my rut. it was furnished with my favorite things, though i chafed at its narrow restrictions. now my sight returns & i see the truth of Your presence. there's no escaping it. now that i see Your ubiquity, my heart frees the old bolts that held the door closed. my heart is vowed & pledged to You, Shiva. although i am a late bloomer, You wait until my blossom is full wide open. now i am here before You, patiently offering it to You in tender love. i'm blinded by the outer no longer, coming to You stripped of worldly dowry. i am transparent to Your ceaseless light, rainbows shining wherever You touch me, words dissolving like darkness into dawn.
You shake me like a garment in the wind & the vasanas fly away like dust. i shiver, stripped down to my bare essence, yet rejoice when i see You at the heart of each unsettling disturbance & change. You hold me in my rawness, respectful & close & wrap Your light full around me. the world fades into moving shadows, brushed aside by the swift sweep of Your hand, & still You hold me close to You, Shiva. You strip the ancient karmic mask from me that conceals my true effulgent nature. You face me in Your solar radiance & all-pervading positive regard. You tell me i am Yours, marked with Your sign. this harsh human life is no loss, Shiva, not in the face of such noble blessing. the temporal moving shadows recede, flickering at the edge of awareness like distant darkness melting into dawn. & still You hold me close to You, Shiva.
You come into my life like sudden lightning, a flashing crash that shifts earth on her axis, a meteor, a vast dancing aurora, sunrise over a new continent rising from the ocean beneath a flaming comet. the old ways are gone in this bright burning dawn. here a new realm awaits, mystery invites. mist rises up from a rushing waterfall, surrounding me in cool starlight sprinkled fog, soaking my innermost hidden dark places, urging new green sprouts to push up into the irresistibly enfolding light of You. now i understand why flowers must blossom.