fifty years ago--when studying the spiritual tarot-- i used to contemplate the sun's reflection in glass & metal. at the center of the scintillating bright orb thus revealed, i would see a dark dancing figure in swift moving exultation. i would rejoice that a divine being was graciously present, which my heart would tell me by the warmth of its joyous quickening. now i know that it was You, Shiva, touching my heart yet again, keeping in touch. in this way, small events & insights were building a foundation deep within me, preparing me for You, as the bride is prepared for the auspicious advent of her wedding day. much time, preparation & cultivation has gone by since then. i have honored You in my heart for years now. my wedding dress hangs ready in the closet & i await You, Shiva, every day. the heart is filled with longing & the mind echoes with Your mantra. OM NAMAH SHIVAYA
the body is elderly, yet the dweller within is ageless. activity is limited by a medical condition, yet the heart-center is online & the inner work continues with vivid dedication & continuous cultivation. in another realm i dwell as timeless receptive consciousness. the many realms interpenetrate & i am in them all in various conditions. the bodies change, yet i continue the journey of increasing awareness & consequent devotion. when words are available i rejoice, Shiva, i rejoice that i am able to see a more expansive vision through Your grace. the constraints of the physical realm dissolve in other domains. the body is elderly, yet the dweller within is ageless, returning repeatedly to the wholeness of heart-consciousness. i am aware of You, yet there is no separation present. we are blended consciousness, distinct yet simultaneously combined as well. love is the substratum of our union, Shiva. who i really am does not need a physical body to be. i am forever You at heart, eternally Your expression, dedicated to You as only ones deepest Self can be. here now is the pure land in mellow shining glory, the beating of the divine heart of the world sounding OM, sounding OM, sounding hOMe! the body comes & goes, comes & goes, & You go on forever, Shiva of numberless names, including the name i once thought was mine.