when i was still a child in primary school, i thought that all one
needed to do to make someone unconscious was to tap them on
the head with a stone. it seemed quite simple. then they would quietly
fall down to the ground, as they did in the comic books & cartoons.
one day i was with my parents when we visited a country
house with a big sprawling garden, complete with a small pond, goldfish,
frogs & lily pads. the frogs were hard to catch & i was not so
skillful. i got the idea to toss a stone at a frog, hoping
to hit it on the head so it would be quiet & i could pick
it up. but it did not go well. i was shocked at the harm i caused.
i too suffer damage: the sick secret awareness that i had
badly hurt an innocent being, perhaps fatally. i slunk
away, ashamed, bearing a hidden burden of guilt & self-blame,
& i never told anyone about this, ever, until now.
i did not intend harm, yet harm was given by my own hand. there
was no ill will or anger, just misguided curiosity,
misjudgement & ignorance. Shiva tells me that i'm innocent
of intent to harm, yet this kind of innocence carries a cost.
from such innocence i can well understand that the doctor who
performed the hysterectomy on this body meant no harm when
he mistakenly sewed my intestine to the abdominal
wall. he meant no harm when i almost died twenty-five years later
from intestinal obstructions due to adhesions from his lapse.
yet there is no blame, no call for guilt over a misaction.
equally, the frog's situation is not my karma, even
though i caused damage. thus, neither do i blame the doctor for his
mistake. life has enough room in it for this kind of forgiveness.
we human beings are like children who are seeking a way through
mystery too vast to comprehend with ease. our clumsy efforts
at braille cannot touch the heart of wind, cannot trace the aurora's
sweeping path across the sky. we are but witnesses who gasp
in amazement like the eager cosmic children we really are.
we were placed here to play innocently & to learn a new arc
of training that has only barely begun to make itself known.
this grand cosmic dance does not end; it evolves ceaselessly onward.
"there are galaxies swirling in Your eyebrows," she remarks teasingly
to Shiva, Who blesses her with His acceptance. she elaborates,
"we are everywhere, like space. we blend in telepathic rapport &
communion, which is dimensionless & beyond measurement. we are
formless pure consciousness." she continues: "eyebrows & galaxies are
artifacts of the physical plane, temporary & changing with
time." she glances at Shiva & is encouraged to go on when He
smiles invitingly. "both eyebrows & galaxies also have pleasing curves
whose beauty hints at sattvic energy," she says, drawing a deep breath.
"& they both are made of many smaller parts that constitute the whole."
"i'm claiming that seeing galaxies swirling in Your eyebrows is like
saying, 'You Who are formless & cosmic are also approachable
here on the limited level of the physical plane.'" she nods for
emphasis. "seeking You & communing with You places me in that
auspicious cosmic curve too—that sattvic smile—& is like being bathed
in blessings." she shyly continues, "Shiva, You radiate such sweet
sattvic energy that complete good will & loving responsiveness
is very natural in Your presence." she winks at Him with a smile.
"& You draw the playfulness out with the warm magnetism of Your
acceptance." Shiva chuckles & winks back. "if eyebrows & galaxies
are so closely connected," He remarks, "you can be sure, with the right
effort, to reveal that all is truly one down at the deep taproot."
"You mean," she says, "that i am You & You are me & we are all
together?" she grins, "you got it!" Shiva laughs, "now let's go have fun in
maya's marvelous mesmerizing drama of the day!" so it goes,
continues & ever begins yet again. om namah Shivaya!
we are vulnerable to the human world when we identify
with the body & desire specific outcomes. without the body,
how can we suffer or have problems? discomfort has its roots in the
body & its artifact, the mind. all memory & body-based
experience belongs to the physical domain & is in fact
temporary, coming & going according to circumstances.
i can find only one realm in life that remains constant & steady
in the midst of this churning flow of change: the knowing that
i exist. for the body-personality, this "i am" is akin to the
universal vibration of OM. it's like a cosmic building block,
the basis of causality & creativity. "i am" is
a doorway accessing the subtle realm, a way out of attachment.
these deep thoughts are given to us as keys for opening alternate
realms through a change of focus, which helps us look beyond the body &
the outer world for stability & truth. You gave me this download,
Shiva. You showed this to me & i have truly taken it to heart.
i firmly commit to following the "i am" to its sacred source,
journeying with You, Shiva, for which i feel blessed & deeply grateful.
i understand that the sun is alive, a great sentient being,
a dear teacher who is surrounded by students, whom we call planets.
this earth, who gives substance for our bodies, is itself alive & in
the midst of its own spiritual unfolding & deep sadhana.
i see also that the human species comes from the quickening
planetary sadhana & our lives reflect the earth's urge to give a
grateful gift to our solar teacher who holds us safe in his body.
he also evolves in his own service to the living galaxy,
spinning in its sadhana like a great cosmic sufi in joyful
fervor with the venerable divine local group of galaxies.
they all gyre together in concert with the vaster galactic dancing
divinities throughout the huge far-flung deep field of untold billions
of galaxies visible to humans through our many instruments.
these immense living congeries of starbeings themselves constitute
a yet greater life unimaginable to flesh & bone lifeforms.
these networks of transgalactic beings express the outpouring called
"the big bang," a cosmic event that has got our full attention.
here we are, human beings peering into the vastest unknown that
we are capable of through our telescopes. we are created thus
by our earth, who gives us these bodies & the burning urge to explore.
oh Shiva! Your expression is vast & varied & the whole of it
constitutes You, spinning in Your dance of creative transformation.
You have given us a beginner's grasp of this immeasurable
existence & i am grateful for the all-embracing overview.
thank You, Shiva, for this immensity of interconnected lives:
transgalactic, galactic, solar & planetary. thank You for
the gods, devas, & unknown others who dance in this great creative
ensemble. we ourselves are an iteration of this grand dancing
cosmic life, kin to planets & stars. thank You, Shiva, for the guidance
& instruction & for being my dance-partner in this brief vision
of one little corner of this vast realm of metagalactic space.
OM NAMAH SHIVAYA
the pandemic is shaking out the hidden scorpions
in the global drama of this divine culling event.
it brings to view the cloaked & veiled shadow influences
that disrupt cooperation & sincere tolerance,
that negate inspiration, inclusiveness & kindness.
they drain the joyousness from the rising innocent day.
Shiva, You reveal to me how this great cosmic drama
of maya creates a stage & a playbill, a menu,
a compelling urge to act in the world as we are called.
our cosmic dharma as jiva is to cling to the light.
we have seen the dark. the cycles are turning, shifting now
by cosmic rhythmic decree & we are the advancing
edge. nature's cadences prevail throughout the galaxies.
dear Shiva, carry us forward in this dharma of change.
the darkness has exhausted the days of its dominance.
the wheel of evolution turns & the dawning of light
is now globally drawing near. the kali yuga wanes.
dear Shiva, carry us forward in this dharma of change.
hold us in Your heart & show us what is real, true & good.
i appear to be a self-willed individual,
yet i'm truly a cooperative group effort
of various elemental creative forces
& devic entities, standing in their active ranks,
as Shiva places His holy seal upon my heart.
all creation is expressing by way of matter
& self is actually vast, cosmic & divine.
appearances conceal by promising to reveal,
as entire fused universes of blended beings
are dancing in my arteries & upon the sun.
i smile a modest shy acknowledgement, all proper,
pretending to be a self-willed individual
when i'm really an entire party in full loud swing
with a heavenly guest list of stellar magnitude!
Shiva, Your cool rain is a sweet benediction,
healing & soothing the raw edges of the heart.
comfort me with rainbows, lift me upon Your clouds.
i would float upon Your love, myself a blessing.
the world is my field of dharmic group service now,
yet You are my center & i hold fast to You.
although i bend beneath the hard weight of this life,
i do not fall nor do i neglect my duties.
not by any virtue of mine, but through You alone
is the work done, & the fruits of work go where You
determine in Your mysterious, profound way.
all is done by You, beyond human mind & heart.
it is done by You & i am Your agent here
on this blue planet which, itself, struggles toward
a greater life in this primal cosmic cycle,
time after time, aeon upon aeon, onward.
we humans are Your transforming agents, Shiva,
created, formed & born for Your service & grace.
looking through the cosmic lens, i can see how we
are the outreach of a vast emanating source.
thus do i celebrate this opportunity
to praise You, yearning to return to Your wholeness,
resting in the cool downpour of Your cleansing rain.