the shadow-show of maya

i see that maya's way is to draw us into situations
whereby strands of our connective energy are hooked & woven
into it. many dramas will seek to involve us: family,
national, global, plus hidden inner conflicts & struggles when
all else is calm. it is unavoidable in the world of form.

i notice this strongly now, being elderly & disabled
& thus having less abundant energy. each cause that i feel
called to champion, every imbalance or injustice i seek to
ameliorate draws an energy thread to connect to it.
thus i'm woven into the sociocultural web & am
supporting its constructs with my prana & focussed intentions.

hence i become mindful indeed of where i want my energy
to flow. having less available energy, i must put it
into what i most prioritize. Shiva, what efficiency
You show to demonstrate maya & to teach me to cut the ties
to that which serves me not! all that has been generationally
established calls urgently for participation. family
values, national priorities, social-enculturation:
they all sing their majority-approved alluring siren songs.

refusal is frowned upon: there is always a price to pay for
freedom & mindfulness, yet it becomes necessary in time.
You encourage & support awareness, dispassion & kindness,
Shiva. Your voice eventually becomes more magnetic &
powerful than maya as i travel on this journey with You.

even negative events can serve a positive purpose by 
training the mind to be a detached observer. such clear vision
can expand to reveal the pattern that eventually shows
itself to be serving growth. understanding this, i no longer
turn my back on Your guidance, Shiva. my heart goes out to You, blends
with You in fact. all this reduces the attraction of maya.

may we choose with care & may we be willing to pay the price of
our choice. remaining in thoughtless thrall to maya will exact its
own price, even as Shiva extracts His. i choose You, Shiva, &
i willingly pay Your price, for maya is but a dream, empty
& temporary. You, Shiva, are constant & You touch my heart
with Your pure, holy love. i turn my back on the shadow-show of
maya to embrace You, Shiva. i rest in You & take refuge.

i have little to show

it's all interior, nothing much that comes to action --
a certain peace, a quiet calm, an acceptance of now.
i have little to show to the world, Shiva, few good deeds
or great service. just a subtle subjective shift, a deep
bond with You, whom i feel abiding now within my heart.

even this becomes dim & murky when the world looms large.
this is a long grim struggle, Shiva, just to hold steady.
i tire. i sag. i observe the fading of memory.
the mind is such a rebel, refusing obedience.
i am bereft, adrift, undone, hard-pressed as a person.
the old costume was cast off long ago. i have none now.

i have only You, Shiva, Your tender inner presence.
all in all, a pretty good trade for who i thought i was.
You guide me from within & weave Your presence through the day.
You are real, constant, unchanging, ever-present, central.
all in all, a pretty good trade for who i thought i was!