we are vulnerable to the human world when we identify with the body & desire specific outcomes. without the body, how can we suffer or have problems? discomfort has its roots in the body & its artifact, the mind. all memory & body-based experience belongs to the physical domain & is in fact temporary, coming & going according to circumstances. i can find only one realm in life that remains constant & steady in the midst of this churning flow of change: the knowing that i exist. for the body-personality, this "i am" is akin to the universal vibration of OM. it's like a cosmic building block, the basis of causality & creativity. "i am" is a doorway accessing the subtle realm, a way out of attachment. these deep thoughts are given to us as keys for opening alternate realms through a change of focus, which helps us look beyond the body & the outer world for stability & truth. You gave me this download, Shiva. You showed this to me & i have truly taken it to heart. i firmly commit to following the "i am" to its sacred source, journeying with You, Shiva, for which i feel blessed & deeply grateful.
i see that maya's way is to draw us into situations whereby strands of our connective energy are hooked & woven into it. many dramas will seek to involve us: family, national, global, plus hidden inner conflicts & struggles when all else is calm. it is unavoidable in the world of form. i notice this strongly now, being elderly & disabled & thus having less abundant energy. each cause that i feel called to champion, every imbalance or injustice i seek to ameliorate draws an energy thread to connect to it. thus i'm woven into the sociocultural web & am supporting its constructs with my prana & focussed intentions. hence i become mindful indeed of where i want my energy to flow. having less available energy, i must put it into what i most prioritize. Shiva, what efficiency You show to demonstrate maya & to teach me to cut the ties to that which serves me not! all that has been generationally established calls urgently for participation. family values, national priorities, social-enculturation: they all sing their majority-approved alluring siren songs. refusal is frowned upon: there is always a price to pay for freedom & mindfulness, yet it becomes necessary in time. You encourage & support awareness, dispassion & kindness, Shiva. Your voice eventually becomes more magnetic & powerful than maya as i travel on this journey with You. even negative events can serve a positive purpose by training the mind to be a detached observer. such clear vision can expand to reveal the pattern that eventually shows itself to be serving growth. understanding this, i no longer turn my back on Your guidance, Shiva. my heart goes out to You, blends with You in fact. all this reduces the attraction of maya. may we choose with care & may we be willing to pay the price of our choice. remaining in thoughtless thrall to maya will exact its own price, even as Shiva extracts His. i choose You, Shiva, & i willingly pay Your price, for maya is but a dream, empty & temporary. You, Shiva, are constant & You touch my heart with Your pure, holy love. i turn my back on the shadow-show of maya to embrace You, Shiva. i rest in You & take refuge.
it's all interior, nothing much that comes to action -- a certain peace, a quiet calm, an acceptance of now. i have little to show to the world, Shiva, few good deeds or great service. just a subtle subjective shift, a deep bond with You, whom i feel abiding now within my heart. even this becomes dim & murky when the world looms large. this is a long grim struggle, Shiva, just to hold steady. i tire. i sag. i observe the fading of memory. the mind is such a rebel, refusing obedience. i am bereft, adrift, undone, hard-pressed as a person. the old costume was cast off long ago. i have none now. i have only You, Shiva, Your tender inner presence. all in all, a pretty good trade for who i thought i was. You guide me from within & weave Your presence through the day. You are real, constant, unchanging, ever-present, central. all in all, a pretty good trade for who i thought i was!