there is holy silence in the heart when all the urgent words are said & the inner choice stands clear at last. there is nothing more to be done. silence dwells within the heart when i lay my defenses down & bow in humble gratitude to Shiva's conquest of my stubborn self-will. silence reigns within the heart when the internal struggle is over & i set to work with bandages & ointments, applying them as needed to both the innocent & damned, for compassion judges not. from the holy silence of the heart flows now the purity of love.
when i look at my earlier life, it is as if i can see a broken mirror that has been pieced together & glued upon a firm surface. this, my earthly identity, is the broken mirror, flawed, fragmented & in pieces. You, Shiva, are the firm surface that holds all the broken pieces together, steadily present in the background of awareness as i do my duties. here in this maya of jagat, in the midst of all the shattered & fractured illusions & dreams, You are that companion who holds firm to dharma for the well-being of us all. You help to make the vision clear before us, that we may see ourselves endlessly held together & bound through divine compassion & bold wisdom. the patterns made by the cracks in the mirror are but a needed part of the story. everything has a story to tell, like the wrinkles on an elderly face or the scars upon a body. oh my Beloved, You upon Whom my earthly life depends, Who reveal my true identity to me: Your name is on my lips. ah Shiva, my Shiva! the sweetness of Your name melts upon my tongue like warm honey & fills the heart with bliss. You are my very ground of being, my oxygen & water, & i say Your name as tonic for the healing of us all: OM NAMAH SHIVAYA! this broken mirror shines with Your holy light, Shiva, my Shiva!
some days i am like a cloud floating in the wide blue sky, sun streaming into me like fingers of divine blessing, wind carrying me effortlessly in a smooth swift flow. other days i slog my way through the thick mud of the day, struggling to take just one more step forward yet again in the endless trudging of step after step after step. some days i lay flat on my back in mud, surrendering to inertia like an old balloon slowly deflating. other days i say Your name before i fully awake, feeling You deep within the hidden chamber of my heart &, finding You there, lift my hands in glad salutation. today i see all these changing shapes of the shifting days, witness the flickering parade of possibilities. they are so real to the human self pushing through maya! my heart opens in compassionate wonder & soft love. i seek refuge in You, Shiva. i am Yours forever.