when i threw myself headlong & heartshort into the rowdy suffering of the world, You gave that to me, You allowed me the vividly intense experience i sought. thank You, Shiva. i learned to endure & to value the kindnesses that kindled my heart. when i wrapped myself deeply in my personal sorrows, You gave that to me as well. Your permissions were generous. my greed was strong & omnivorous & relentless. thank You, Shiva, for allowing me the deepening darkness that urged me to seek the light. when i called out to You in love & longing, You came to me & held me to Your heart. You remained with me as i meandered the obscure paths & the hard brightly paved ways. You turned my life around when You transported me in my car to a different road than the one i had set out upon. You wonder-bombed me, awed me silent, stunned & still. You got my attention, enraptured me, woke me up & laid a new path before me. on this new path we walk together & You teach me, remind me of what i forgot. You comfort me in the midst of discomfort. You instruct me as guide & companion. Shiva, for the time of intimacy to come i had to be stripped of my armor, my shiny conclusions & competence, & brought to the knees of my humility. it is here that i surrender my love to You & open to Your love beyond words. so it is that You place me here in Your service within the crucible of Your love. thank You, Shiva. without You all is hollow, yet dense enough to leave bruises behind. with You Life is rich & promising like an april sunrise on a sentinel hill in the pure realm of the devoted heart. i am Yours, Shiva. You are Lord of my heart.
i wrap you in these words when the cold wind bites through your mask when the rags you wear fall apart when your dark secrets are exposed i wrap you in these words om namah shivaya i rub these words into your skin like rose-scented lotus oil like a warm healing unguent like a gentle angel's touch i rub these words into your skin om namah shivaya i feed these words to you in the emptiness of hunger in the solitude of your night in the depths of your abstraction i feed these words to you om namah shivaya i shine these words into you like sunlight into your shadows like moonlight upon your ocean like the warmth that pulls sprout from seed i shine these words into you om namah shivaya i plant these words in your soul into the nameless they go plunging into the subtle shifting yearning into the moist readiness of now i plant these words in your soul om namah shivaya