i am like a summer storm in a dry land, bringing thunder & towering clouds & wind but no rain. there's a lot of hopeful noise in the sky but nothing much happens. where is my rain, Shiva? where is the blessing that surely must come? when does this end, this time of declaration in words, this offering to You, this small lonely prasad that few come to share? still will i offer it, for You have given me this sacred task to ripen me. this is the timely opportunity to detach from the opinions of others, to release the solemn people-pleasing child in me to go find healing in the comfort of nature's pure serene hidden places. let her walk with her sad, lonely craving, the emptiness inside calling out to be filled. let her live patiently without answers, bereft of understanding & shorn of meaning. let her suffer. & let it be enough. let it be finished, paid in full, unleashed & released. done. shelter me, Shiva, cover me over with Your holy love as i become free from this spent larval form i now inhabit while it morphs into the mature adult version: the one where i have wings & am not crawling on my belly for food. may the nectar of flowers empower me home to You, Shiva!
the sky -- with its winds, clouds, sun, moon & stars & its fiery streaming mysteries that pull us like a sacred magnet -- lifts us out of ourselves, calls us to that which expands us & inspires us to awe. the sky -- with its storms of rain, snow & light -- freely sparks endless wonder as it plays with our earthly forms & creations. it touches us with its airy hands, both gentle & sometimes fierce. the sky holds us in its arms like a mother, guides us on our way like a father, always there, always here: our holy family. throughout this life i have taken more true comfort from the sky than from anything else. the vastness of the curved blue dome stretches as far as i can see. it is changing, always changing, shifting in clarity from misty grey to a sea of brilliant azure with immense rounded clouds like whales making their great mysterious migrations, called by unseen energies. i too am called by the unseen: Shiva, Your boundless power & love has convinced me to cast off into the vastness of the shimmering unknown. the heart is like a sail, catching the wind of spirit & filling full with the gratitude that carries me onward in Your companionship. You are my sky, holding my atoms in place. You are everywhere, like space, wrapping me in Your indigo sky-blanket with the stars. hold me close & hold me tight for i am but a child in Your arms.
when the sky splits open & sunshine pours through the broken clouds, i see You, Shiva. You have no form, yet Your presence is strong. may the heart be touched & blessings kindled. may sweetness be released to permeate all who dwell in deep appreciation of the sheer wonder of sky overhead & breath in the warm animal body. may we bow to Your fragrant presence here, Shiva. You make beauty from brokenness & angels from the most humble among us. when the sky splits open & sunshine pours golden honey through the clouds, i see You turning toward this fierce realm. i mirror You, shining light out freely to the world. this light is Your own, recycled through me, giving form to the formless, love to all.
the sky is inscribed with my love song to You, Shiva! or perhaps that lacy script floating upon the blue is Your dear love song to me as my heart sings to you. thus do the heavens truly resound with the power of Your subtle existence, clothed in swift-moving clouds, clothed in the yearning of the heart & my vow to You. all that i see takes on the form of our communion, places us together, united, joined forever. You are the lens i observe through, revealer of love. You have stitched together the pieces of my torn life, etched Your presence on my heart & tenderly nurtured hidden memories into full extravagant bloom. the perfume of Your presence gives a heady sweetness to life as i scan the sky for Your messages sent by bird, by cloud, sun & stars in their many millions. Shiva, hold me in Your eclectic companionship that my energy may be of service to the world as the heart sings Your name like a love song.