i am like a summer storm in a dry land, bringing thunder & towering clouds & wind but no rain. there's a lot of hopeful noise in the sky but nothing much happens. where is my rain, Shiva? where is the blessing that surely must come? when does this end, this time of declaration in words, this offering to You, this small lonely prasad that few come to share? still will i offer it, for You have given me this sacred task to ripen me. this is the timely opportunity to detach from the opinions of others, to release the solemn people-pleasing child in me to go find healing in the comfort of nature's pure serene hidden places. let her walk with her sad, lonely craving, the emptiness inside calling out to be filled. let her live patiently without answers, bereft of understanding & shorn of meaning. let her suffer. & let it be enough. let it be finished, paid in full, unleashed & released. done. shelter me, Shiva, cover me over with Your holy love as i become free from this spent larval form i now inhabit while it morphs into the mature adult version: the one where i have wings & am not crawling on my belly for food. may the nectar of flowers empower me home to You, Shiva!
the sky -- with its winds, clouds, sun, moon & stars & its fiery streaming mysteries that pull us like a sacred magnet -- lifts us out of ourselves, calls us to that which expands us & inspires us to awe. the sky -- with its storms of rain, snow & light -- freely sparks endless wonder as it plays with our earthly forms & creations. it touches us with its airy hands, both gentle & sometimes fierce. the sky holds us in its arms like a mother, guides us on our way like a father, always there, always here: our holy family. throughout this life i have taken more true comfort from the sky than from anything else. the vastness of the curved blue dome stretches as far as i can see. it is changing, always changing, shifting in clarity from misty grey to a sea of brilliant azure with immense rounded clouds like whales making their great mysterious migrations, called by unseen energies. i too am called by the unseen: Shiva, Your boundless power & love has convinced me to cast off into the vastness of the shimmering unknown. the heart is like a sail, catching the wind of spirit & filling full with the gratitude that carries me onward in Your companionship. You are my sky, holding my atoms in place. You are everywhere, like space, wrapping me in Your indigo sky-blanket with the stars. hold me close & hold me tight for i am but a child in Your arms.
the time to look within that the pandemic provides is a healing & integrative blessing, though strict. i know enough now not to confuse the wrapping of the gift with the real gift, which i receive gratefully. Shiva, i see that the sanatana dharma came to the west as theosophy & esotericism, telling the holistic tale that bridges cultures & lifestyles. we are more alike than different, preferring love over violence, gentleness over cruelty. we surge forward as a multitude toward the light. we stray only to learn the true nature of our need. we are ignited, blazing like a fire in winter, as we return to You, who are called by many names. You bring the sanatana dharma, ageless wisdom, the effulgence of eternal truth in daily life. the pandemic is the current opportunity to go within, emerging into Your dear embrace as we shed our ragged & broken crusty old skins for the supple skin of a newborn child in this world as we return to You, who are called by many names.