sometimes i feel that, like a beast of burden, i carry a load that is not my own, nor do i know how to remove it. in fact, by myself i have neither the knowledge nor the skill to do that, so i endure. i endure, but not passively. i know now that i'm not alone or without help. no longer am i bowed down in sad submission, for i have friends in celestial spaces. i release attunement to the weight of the burden; i let go of feeling helpless & sad. i reach deep down inside myself to find the holy chamber hidden in a sacred cave that is not totally of this world. i let myself become lighter, almost weightless & nearly formless, as if i am made of drifting mist. not identifying with the concerned thoughts of the worried mind, i release my ownership of the body & of its karma. all my disquiet arises from identification with the things of the physical realm, especially with the body & its many adventures, ideas, conclusions, needs & stories. they are not my own. i have nothing, for i am consciousness & awareness, formless & free, giving the gift of urgent life to animate this body, yet not belonging to the flesh-body. nor do i belong to myself for i am part of one greater than myself: i am His expression. i am but an extension of Him, of Shiva, Who keeps calling me to come back to the heart. He has not given up on me; He knows that i am His & will do His bidding from love. Shiva gives me the opportunity to create in the world for Him. this is not a burden, but a blessing & a true gift that I treasure. it has transformed my life. Shiva is a living treasure, gift & blessing, by whatever name He calls Himself. i am here to encourage trust in the deep natural wild divine which manifests under the banner of love. this banner ever flies over the great cosmic story of Shiva, Lord of Transformation, & of we who truly love Him.