it's all interior, nothing much that comes to action -- a certain peace, a quiet calm, an acceptance of now. i have little to show to the world, Shiva, few good deeds or great service. just a subtle subjective shift, a deep bond with You, whom i feel abiding now within my heart. even this becomes dim & murky when the world looms large. this is a long grim struggle, Shiva, just to hold steady. i tire. i sag. i observe the fading of memory. the mind is such a rebel, refusing obedience. i am bereft, adrift, undone, hard-pressed as a person. the old costume was cast off long ago. i have none now. i have only You, Shiva, Your tender inner presence. all in all, a pretty good trade for who i thought i was. You guide me from within & weave Your presence through the day. You are real, constant, unchanging, ever-present, central. all in all, a pretty good trade for who i thought i was!