bliss – THIS HAPPENED

when i look at my earlier life, it is as if i can see a broken mirror that has been pieced together & glued upon a firm surface. this, my earthly identity, is the broken mirror, flawed, fragmented & in pieces. You, Shiva, are the firm surface that holds all the broken pieces together, steadily present in the background of awareness as i do my duties. here in this maya of jagat, in the midst of all the shattered & fractured illusions & dreams, You are that companion who holds firm to dharma for the well-being of us all. You help to make the vision clear before us, that we may see ourselves endlessly held together & bound through divine compassion & bold wisdom. the patterns made by the cracks in the mirror are but a needed part of the story. everything has a story to tell, like the wrinkles on an elderly face or the scars upon a body. oh my Beloved, You upon Whom my earthly life depends, Who reveal my true identity to me: Your name is on my lips. ah Shiva, my Shiva! the sweetness of Your name melts upon my tongue like warm honey & fills the heart with bliss. You are my very ground of being, my oxygen & water, & i say Your name as tonic for the healing of us all: OM NAMAH SHIVAYA! this broken mirror shines with Your holy light, Shiva, my Shiva!

the daily happenings around me are the distractions that delay
going deep within to commune with You, Shiva. life in this earthly
world is focussed upon outer events. You call me away from that
to journey within my inner world to the wellspring of awareness.

thus i must turn my back on the social demands of the outer world.
i must find that internal source from which awareness arises &
flows & i must remain with that, returning always to the central
knowing that "i am", even in the midst of harsh discord & downfall.

Shiva, i am asking for Your help, asking You to have no mercy
toward my dullness & density, my declining ability
& errors of thought. hold me close & repair the damage. hold me close
& bless the shy & tender, the pure & innocent deep, deep within.

hold me close to You & please help me to know that You see through these eyes;
You hear through these ears & You live in this world as You function through me.
hold me through the soul's dark night & hold me through my own & all others'
ignorant stumbling towards the promise of light. i can no longer
endure the dead weight of the darkness in this world's long struggle lightwards.

yet of course i must. the work is before me, as You have given, &
i continue on here in this eternal now. even as i rest
against You, even as You hold me & i press against You so hard
& deep that only You remain, this existence does continue on.

i live in You & You live through me, as me. I press my lips to Yours & You speak through me, carrying me forward beyond the distractions
of the world into Your body of bliss. I thank You for Your mercy.