dear young friend & family in Shiva, when i speak of age, you
seem to hear death, probably because of your youth. but for me at
eighty-one, age is a victory, something amazing that is
given to me to rejoice in, & i do! you seem to think that
i rejoice in the nearness of death, but no! it is this life that
i rejoice in. i delight in beauty, goodness & truth. if it
doesn't relate to my purpose, i pay no attention to it.
my purpose is to celebrate life & to release the outworn,
that Shiva & i can commune together more meaningfully.
so think not that age means closer to death! age just as vividly
can mean closer to life, because i can so fully & deeply
enjoy this life now as a seasoned spiritual connoisseur.
years of arcane experience now reveal its value to me.
a sparrow flies to the window sill early this dawning–a small
humble bird–& he erupts into song! i mean that he seems to
puff up & grow enormous to my inner sight, & then he just
explodes into singing, like a crystalline shower of rainbows
& stars! it is dark enough to see the whole extravaganza,
almost a surreal fireworks display, a musical magical
frolic of the best music & light show that i have ever witnessed!
the sparrow's song transports me instantly to the revered pure land,
where beauty, kindness & affection are themselves a language, a
heart-spoken silent speech. i have just enough time to draw in a
deep breath of this purity & love, & now i am standing by
the window again. the song sparrow, looking in at me from the
window sill, winks at me, a broad exaggerated, knowing wink!
i quickly wink back & grin because, Shiva, i would recognize
You in any disguise! thank You for giving my day a festive
beginning. thank You for this big smile stretching wide across my face!
the universe is music. everything sings its song, shaped from primal
essence & counterpointed by a sweetly unique sound signature,
unlike any other. we meet & combine our melodies into
vast dances & soaring flights of glad praise. each & every galaxy
is a grand ongoing concert of expressive communion. solar
systems join in with their own complimentary contributions, as
each planet adds its favorite riff to the cooperative mix.
with subtle inner focus, one can hear the combined glissandos of
multiple galactic groups. it's enough to strip the body away
& release the cramped spirit to rise in ecstatic jubilation
of woven sound! we phase in & out of quantum fluctuations like
drumbeats of emphasis nearing crescendo. we dissolve formlessly
in the whirling, stirring intergalactic sea of sound vibration.
let me put it this way. when i look out my window at the rising
golden sun this morning, i am pierced by the yearning of the sweetest
sound i have ever heard. it massages me inside & out, & leaves
me gasping with the fading glory of its echo. it is the song
of the Self of the sun, praising Shiva for its life & song, much as
i also do. i, too, find that i'm essentially music reaching
for a harmonic partner: for a grand interwoven chorus of
soaring harmony, sounding like a murmuration of starlings looks.
i dissolve into that wholeness & slowly, atom by atom, i
find my home at long last as the silence between sounds smooths & soothes.
this silence holds all sound in potential. everything, from galaxy
to human, eventually returns to this deep silence & leaves
the gift of its song as a testament to a shining life. Shiva
gathers up all our songs, cherishing them in perpetuity, &
He honors them for their holy origin & for our sacrifice
in the name of goodness, beauty & the fulfillment of our dharma.
You are present in all things, Shiva, down to the quarks & electrons of existence.
i ponder this as i consider the nature of the bi-valve oyster & mussel.
these sea & freshwater beings make glowing pearls from irritants which enter their shells.
they enclose the discomfort in smoothly cool soothing nacre, pale & opalescent
& humans value these pearls greatly, finding them to be healing & peaceful to touch.
perhaps pearls demonstrate that all problems & irritants are but the seeds of blessings,
the potential to create lambent beauty & wonder from a most unlikely source.
pearls are born from the suffering of creatures, yet they bring calm sustenance to the heart.
perhaps somewhere divine devic beings are uplifted by the beauty that we can
cultivate from our challenges & adversity as we bring gentle compassion
to surround our sorrows & pain while we forgive ourselves into grace & harmony.
we bring joy to the overseeing angels & devas who cheer us on to create
shining pearls of beauty from our sincere urge to be whole & complete within, at peace.
ah Shiva! all that i am is Yours, whether lustrous nacre or thickly darkened dust:
i withhold nothing. i am completely Yours in all ways for i myself come from You.
whether tears of joy or tears of sorrow: all are the primal seeds of pearls for Shiva.
thus the suffering of life transforms into the cultivation of beauty's soft glow.
the mountain proclaims
how to live in this world:
"be strong, endure, stand tall
& reach to the sun
in adoration."
the tree whispers soft
how to live in this world:
"lift up into the light,
plunge into the earth.
share it all freely.
give yourself endlessly
& generously."
the flower declares
how to live in this world:
"seek the light & drink
from the sweet moist earth.
unfold your splendor
in passionate color
& fragrant essence."
the bird calls to me
how to live in this world:
"sing deeply from the heart
in jubilation.
cast yourself into
the embrace of the wind --
go where it takes you
with calm acceptance."
these noble beings
(my teachers & gurus)
channel my Lord Shiva
in their purity.
thus i honor them.
i bow to them. i bow.
THIS HAPPENED 