this peaceful old hippie is also the daughter & wife of career soldiers. thus have i landed here in this military nursing home for old soldiers. it's clear to me from Shiva's teaching that this body & the circumstances of its birth are not who i really am, but is the role that has been given. in outer action due respect is offered, while inwardly it can be seen as karmic duty until awakening. Shiva's hand propels the action. There's no limitation to the inner life, & culture is shed like old skin. outwardly the role is well fulfilled & the long social dance is nearly done. hippie & soldier live side by side when the dust of the battle has settled. ideals, livelihood & bodies are but props in this grand play of maya. yet still i speak of my love for Shiva: He rises in my heart like the sun. my hands lift up in namaste & the warm light of His love pours freely down.
for aeons uncounted You have abided. for aeons uncounted i have sought You through the denseness of the concealing flesh, through the dark of the awakening heart. this is the time of our fated meeting, the union of soul & spirit confirmed. the world shivers in anticipation of this grand cosmic union, long foretold. the soul has proclaimed this primal vision to the stuttering, stumbling slow mind who carefully counts the syllables of a poem on the fingers of both hands. now the poem has emerged from the pen, spilling out upon this clean white paper. in this very manner continents shift & cosmic patterns align in the sky. for uncounted aeons we glide in dance, turning again through the stars & the dust, trailing the veil which no longer conceals the bright light of the awakening heart.
a girl who is me at age fourteen begins to awaken from sleep. she is taken on a journey -- there is movement toward a being. there is awareness & consciousness, there is You, a beacon calling in timeless, spaceless, placeless flow. steadily i am pulled toward You. You are all there is to me now -- You are a magnet, i am iron. i come to You, ever closer. this awareness is filling me up! approaching You, converging now, we blend into no me & no You, just endless Being remaining, & completeness, all-embracing love. only belonging exists now & grand radiant goodness & love. there is no "i" within that realm, yet i am there forever it seems. i still remain there, even now, so deeply am i touched, implanted, marked by Your love & pure presence. in my elderhood in this earth realm i see what a treasure You gave & celebrate Your light gratefully. You are the gardener of my soul & i am blooming for You, Shiva!
You have placed me in the fire before -- this is not the first time, Beloved. Many join me -- we are a bonfire! we are all so brightly burning now that the fire can be seen from space. this is a good time to get lighter, to be burned clean of impurity, to discover how shiny we are beneath the blackening of surface slowly taking place in our world now. arrogance is consumed in this blaze as it rages in global cleansing. Your fire burns pure, my Beloved -- i give myself to You willingly -- my life has always been Yours to use. may this burning-ground be a blessing in the big picture we can't see yet. Lord Shiva, dance Your tandava now! dance us into global renewal!
You were the light that cast no shadow as You approached me from mystery. You entered me in my reverie, in my deep dreams & in my visions. i found messages from You in books & in the cloud-crowded windswept sky. You peopled my life with emissaries & repeatedly gave Your blessings for my emergence from chrysalis. i was shifting into something else, leaving words behind in soft silence, floating in unknowingness, yielded. when i was free of all covering, tender & pale & new in this form, You approached in compassionate care. You touched my damp wings & they opened, & enraptured i glided to You, freed from the restraints of the old form, inadequate to receive Your grace. i was shadow & You are the light, i am the dream dissolving in You. You alone are my life & my truth -- all else falls away, unmourned, unmissed.
i dwell in a realm of endless mirrors, i myself a dream, writing a poem about a woman who sees that the world is a dream & she now writes a poem about this event. and next, Lord Shiva wakes me up with a bang & a shake & a warm hearty laugh. He takes hold of me & opens my eyes -- & i am at home, at home, at home now in Lord Shiva's arms.
we are the people of flesh & smoke, children of the dream, shaping our hands into alphabets for those who cannot hear. we cannot hear! we are the people of blood & bone, gathering our food, protecting it with swords, hands & words, urged on by our desire. we are hungry! we are the people of mist & fog who rise & dissolve-- invisible-- as the sun drinks up the water of our lives. we are fleeting! we are the people who rise & fall, a luminous rain to soak the soil with blood & blessing, turning & returning. we rise & fall! we are smoke & mist, drifting in dream in this reverie, lovely maya, sweetly inviting, shadows urged to action. we are so dazed! our hands form the shape of the word "love". our hearts demand this. love gives itself, offers a place to stand even in this dream. although our blossoms fade, we are fragrant!