& i blink

i was talking casually with my friend claire, glancing at her,
when suddenly You flash out of her eyes & into me by way
of the eye. there is no time. there is only a vast, inclusive,
infinite belonging & melting oneness. intelligent life
leaps & dances forth, sweeps me into sweetness beyond compare.
it is all i have ever longed for & it enters me fully.
it is me. i am That. yes! my heart knows the wordless truth of it.

& i blink & return back to the conversation with my friend.
meanwhile, no time has passed &, for her, nothing at all has happened.
i didn't know You by name then, Shiva, yet i am wedded to 
You & have been since i was 13, a chosen child bride promised
to a vast warm being of power, capable of anything.
that is Your nature, Shiva, & my nature is to be with You.

a few months pass. i am a passenger in a car, holding my
infant daughter in my arms. i look into her eyes & again,
Shiva, You join with me through the portal of the eye of my child.
this merging has no words & no story, only blissful love &
infinite sweetness beyond slow clumsy words or comprehension.
it is from the far distant realm of my heart's true ancestral home.

& i blink, back in the body, as if no time had passed, as if
i were just sitting in a car with other people, holding a
baby, as if the day were typical & i wasn't now blessed.

for i surely am, for we all surely are blessed, yet lacking the
full vision, the deep realization. we can only gaze upon
the far shore, glowing in the distance, & sincerely intend to
journey there in the fullness of time. i call You by name, Shiva,
to strengthen the energy between us, to get Your attention
& to propel myself forward. i am like an arrow that is
already loosed from the bow-string, speeding unstoppably to You.
my attention is focussed fully on You, Shiva, my dharma
& my destiny, & my heart knows the deep subtle truth of it.

like a great bird

i am like a great bird spreading wide wings open full,
swiftly lifting up into the eager energy
of the new morning sky, aiming at the brightest light.
like an arrow tunneling through the air to the sun
is the pull of my heart to the fire of Your presence.
there is no other for me, Shiva. my heart is Yours.

compelled by love, like a fragment of pure forged iron
to a magnet, i move toward that which calls to me.
i rush to respond & embrace my deep destiny.

it feels like coming home after a lengthy journey,
like losing who i thought i was, finding who i am.
as the old ties are tearing apart, falling away,
i rise like a great bird spreading wide wings open full,
like an arrow tunneling through the air to the sun.
there is no other for me, Shiva. my heart is Yours.