Shiva, You have planted flowers in my willing heart where You have
taken up residence. i smell their sweet fragrance rising, & their
luminous colors light my whole world. You have placed a reflecting
pool at the center of this holy garden, that i may reflect
deeply upon the patterns of this life. i sit on the smooth stone
by the pool & lose myself in formless existence, allowing
the body to remain calmly seated. the scent of the blossoms
enfolds, carries me like wings, lifting me higher for clear vision.
ah, the light & the peaceful perfume of the flowers works magic,
freeing & releasing the shy hidden crippled selves inside. they
stretch & flex & become altogether new & curious to
know more. i tell them that Shiva has planted beauty inside us
& the time to share our sacred blooming has now come upon us.
can you smell the sweetness of the blossoming flowers? do you see
the huge sky, the glow of light, the face shining in the reflecting
pool? do you hear the whisper of wings sounding softly overhead?
come & sit with me. let us loosen the locks & bars of the mind.
Shiva may plant a garden in your heart too if your earth is soft
& ready to receive seed. can you allow the new to enter
& to go deeply into the fastness of the heart? flowers may
soon be blooming so sweetly that you will not want to leave for less.
Shiva of infinite name & form,
You are everywhere within our sight.
You guide our journey invisibly,
You remain close all through the long night.
as iron is called by the magnet,
Your wholeness calls out to the fragment!
You are the distant thunder booming
in the far hills of the searching mind.
Shiva, You show Your face in the clouds
& we leave our distractions behind.
as iron is called by the magnet,
Your wholeness calls out to the fragment!
Shiva, You free us from delusion
to reveal the holiness hidden
in the playful changes of maya,
& all that we still call forbidden!
as iron is called by the magnet,
Your wholeness calls out to the fragment!
Shiva of infinite name & form,
You are everywhere within our sight.
You guide our journey invisibly,
You remain close all through the long night.
instead of a warm breeze on the first day of spring in the ripe
countryside, we receive a new world fully gift-wrapped in thick
soft heavy snow. i stand beneath my meditation tree, a
full mature hemlock whose thick branches protectively extend
all the way to the ground. they guard the inner holy chamber
here in the temple of the green sun in safe shelter valley.
most of the trees in these thick woods have already leafed out, so
when the surprise snowstorm rushes silently in during the
predawn hours, all the various trees & bushes are transformed
into strange creatures from another realm, frozen in mid-step.
but the most mesmerizing thing i notice is the sound that
the wind makes as it gusts through the trees. i have never before
heard such a sighing, murmuring whisper rushing from the play
of the wind in the snow-covered leafy branches of the trees!
i stand entranced by the untimely swirling flakes. i bask
in the sweet aloneness, soothed by the temple of the green sun.
all sound is softened, blended into the continued soughing
of the wind in the boughs of the trees. this is the time to go
deep within, to plumb down beneath the surface of the mundane
in a rare inner archeology to reveal the heart.
this is when the world pauses & i'm standing on the edge of
everything i have known, poised to take that next step forward. all
around me the white cloaked trees stand as dignified sentinels.
the wind links us in a shared meditation, giving voice
to the trees in a mystic dialect of OM seldom heard.
ah Shiva! thank You for the precious gems of memory that
we share from Your akashic records. that rare magical spring
equinox under the calm quiet cover of snow always
soothes & uplifts when i visit it. this is a sweet healing.
is that You, Shiva, whispering in my ear? or the soughing
of the wind in the snow-laden branches? or perhaps they are
really much the same thing, upon deeper reflection. You are
always guiding me towards seeing the wholeness that includes
all the parts. guide me now, Shiva, please guide me from deep within.
a sparrow flies to the window sill early this dawning–a small
humble bird–& he erupts into song! i mean that he seems to
puff up & grow enormous to my inner sight, & then he just
explodes into singing, like a crystalline shower of rainbows
& stars! it is dark enough to see the whole extravaganza,
almost a surreal fireworks display, a musical magical
frolic of the best music & light show that i have ever witnessed!
the sparrow's song transports me instantly to the revered pure land,
where beauty, kindness & affection are themselves a language, a
heart-spoken silent speech. i have just enough time to draw in a
deep breath of this purity & love, & now i am standing by
the window again. the song sparrow, looking in at me from the
window sill, winks at me, a broad exaggerated, knowing wink!
i quickly wink back & grin because, Shiva, i would recognize
You in any disguise! thank You for giving my day a festive
beginning. thank You for this big smile stretching wide across my face!
the occasion of covid finds us again at this nursing home. covid
is a great respecter of age, finding mature elder bodies to be
the very best hosts: simply too tired to refuse entry, so come on in!
it is surely the way of nature of the elderly to make way for
the new generations of fresh young bodies to carry on. they have the
strength & resilience to do the most necessary things in this world.
caring for it comes to them now: to these lively & eager fresh fledglings
who flex their ready muscles & minds as they wait for their turn in the sun.
in the meanwhile, at nursing homes throughout the struggling world,
the designated elderly await their journeys home to the pure land
where all bodies are composed of luminous light & originate from
the universal refulgence, starshine, & from Shiva's abiding love.
but weep not, for there is no suffering, & this fateful transition comes
to all of us in good & proper time, like a graduation party
after the most difficult course ever encountered at university.
now our preparation is over & done, the course is completed &
graduation is in the past. we are now freed from old obligations.
nature has taken its given course. all is well in the vaster holy
realm wherein we find our true home of the heart. it is far beyond the
portal that covid opened to us for a brief time, yet it works well for
our sacramental homecoming. Shiva waits for us there to welcome us
with song & dance! i hear that the music & light show is out of this world!
for those who come to the gulf of mexico, he is the great comforter.
his warm enfolding arms soothe & support, & his broad white beaches heal &
delight. primal peacefulness laps the sand within the waves that have traveled
untold mystic miles & miles to gently greet all who come for this healing.
the peace is absorbed into the gracious sand to be shared in the swelling,
streaming surges of surf, the soft susurrus of wave whispering to wave.
just to sit on the sand & watch the waves as they slowly roll in will calm
the clamoring heart. searching through the sand can reveal amazing tiny
treasures: dainty diatoms, etched sea glass, smooth water-sculpted minerals
that resemble the magical jewels worn by mermaids. driftwood of all
varieties invites inspection, & rare sea shells are hiding nearby,
just waiting for a curious hand to uncover & discover them.
the gulf feels like a venerable dear friend & a wise teacher who is
always ready for another willing student. i am such a student,
& have been an observer of the gulf since i am a small child. he is
my first teacher & i honor him greatly. the gulf of mexico is
one of Shiva's forms that He takes on to be accessible to all who
may be called to Him, as i was. it is a gentle introduction to
a companion who is as free & available as water & air.
thank You, Shiva, for being manifest in all the great natural things
of this living earth: holy mountains, deep oceans, rivers, fertile plains, huge
clouds & sky wonders of all kinds. there is nothing we can touch that is not
somehow touching You too, Shiva! i am sincerely counting on this fact!
Shiva, when You include me with You to gather dhatura flowers
to consecrate a new natural Shivling by the waterfall, You
bring back rich memories of my shamanic learning time in nature.
two-thousand-seven is my year of growing the shamanic power
plants dhatura inoxia & metel, plus brugmansia. these
are especially liked for their trumpet flowers, & is why i am
interested in growing them. i am aware of the dangers of
consuming these powerful plants, which is why i hope to get to know
them through meditating on the flowers. it seems like a discreet way
to encounter & greet a masterful mind-altering holy plant.
dhatura stramonium grows wild in the fields out here so i don't
cultivate it. i do find that the south american dhatura
plants are hard for me to grow! i find that salvia divinorum,
which is known to be challenging to grow, seems to be friendly to me
for it thrives, with strong large leaves. the dhatura plants &
brugmansia, however, persist in being sickly & stunted
in spite of my best educated efforts. the plants do come from a
trustworthy grower so their refusal to thrive is mysterious.
they basically & stubbornly just don't want to grow, seeming to sulk.
summer & fall begin to blur together, yet no flowers have bloomed
in my small dhatura garden. the ragged plants are sadly bug-chewed
& fungus ridden, obviously in terminal decline. i have
quite given up on them too. nothing that i do seems to help those plants.
it is evening now, darkness is near & i am returning home
after meditating in the woods by the field. as i saunter down
the pathway that goes through a rugged overgrown wild patch by the fence,
i smell a strong rank peculiar odor, akin to rotting leaves.
it seems to swirl around me like a noxious invisible mist.
i hurry through it, for it feels aggressive, invasive, unfriendly.
i am eagerly headed home now, right at the end of this pathway.
i enter the screened-in front deck where our two indoor cats are lounging,
enjoying the evening. it is almost dark now &, suddenly,
the rank green smell descends upon us, surrounding us on the deck, &
the cats absolutely freak out! one is climbing the screen & i pluck
him off & toss him inside. the other cat dashes quickly inside
too. it is definitely time to remain inside with the doors shut!
i have a very strong feeling that the south american plants have
now informed me of their final decision that they will not be my
allies. i quite agree with them. not every flower will be a friend.
but the dhatura stramonium, whose blooms Shiva & i gathered
lately, is friendly. that's why Shiva chose its flowers for the Shivling.
the shamanic path, in fact, brings me to the sanatana dharma,
as the unity of all existence becomes clear & life-changing
within me. Shiva, Your divine presence steadily supports, although
Your identity & name take longer to find in my heart. i had to
be available for purification first, stripped down to essence,
& bereft of all i thought i knew, before i could meet & see
You truly, & the real heartfelt dharmic journey could at last begin.
"why are we here?" i ask Shiva as we stand in the long shadows of
the early evening. He has brought us to the field by the old house
in the far north carolina mountain countryside where we lived years
ago. i miss that rustic lifestyle now, living in a nursing home.
Shiva hands me a woven basket. "let's go gather some dhatura
flowers for the Shivling," He says. there's a healthy stand of dhatura
bushes growing near the end of the field where the mountain begins to
rise up to the sun. they are large sturdy plants, some about as tall as
my shoulders. the rough, jagged, dark green leaves surround the medium-sized
pale lavender trumpet-shaped flowers. there are many lush & glowing
flowers standing out palely in the dusky dim light of twilight. the
blossoms will bloom throughout the night, & then wilt by morning, repeating
the same process each night all through fall, even into the frost. they are
hardy survivors, these wild dhatura stramonium bushes. yet the
flowers delicately allure, & Shiva loves them to be nearby,
these curious ghostly wildflowers, mystical & oddly scented.
we carefully remove the trumpet blossoms from the bushes' branches.
the plant is strongly green-smelling, definitely a wild scent: nothing
is cultivated here! as darkness falls, Shiva & i carry our
dhatura flower baskets up to the woods close to the waterfall.
we each fill a flask from the waterfall to pour on the chosen stone,
which is a tall husky one, & it loves being cleansed & sanctified.
we place the dhatura flowers on Shiva's favored stone, which is thrilled,
happy indeed, for Shiva Himself is here, placing His own hands on
this new Shivling. the stone becomes so filled with healing that miracles
of everyday blessing move closer. mist from the waterfall adds a
dreamy touch to our worship. it sets a hallowed & blessed mystic mood.
we softly begin singing bhajans & mantras, & the raccoons come
now to join us because they love our singing. next, a fox & a young
bear amble over, & the flying squirrels sail overhead, soon joined
by the pair of small warbling owls who grace the cool night with their strange song.
Shiva & i sit by the sacred Shiva lingam, which is richly
decorated with many dhatura blossoms. moonlight now shines down
upon us all, highlighting the beauty of the natural Shiva
lingam & its blossoms. the animals are all gathered around us
as we sing the ancient praise songs of the holy guardian beings,
affirming their on-going magical presence, encouraging them.
Shiva gazes over at me & winks. i wink back. "I brought you here,"
says Shiva finally, "to show you that you have been following me
for your whole life without realizing it. you have cherished my things:
the wild places, the animals, the mystery of consciousness,
the open sky, the mountain you stand upon, the dhatura flowers."
Shiva regards me warmly. "you are mine, made of my own true essence.
our destinies are entwined." we fall silent & bemused, opening
to the timely new awareness now spreading its roots down deep within.
the dhatura blossoms keep on releasing their subtle consciousness
altering pheromones. Shiva & we, His charges, share communion.
the night is young & blessed by Shiva to heal all who yearn for wholeness.
THIS HAPPENED 