what do i seek out, time & again? what does my heart compel me to search for? not money, fame or possessions. not status, land or followers: i turn my back on those. what calls me? i face into the rising sun, a fragrant red rosebush at my side, the sweet song of a wood thrush soaring up from the nearby grove of tall oak trees. nature comes closest to what i seek, & has helped to pass the time. once i thought it was companionship with accepting people, but that human realm is replete with shifting alliances, & it ultimately offers no lasting truth. we seem to repeat the old ingrained patterns of the dusty past while striving to break free. i look for the absence of attachment, for freedom from the leash that restrains my hands from removing the tightly knotted blindfold. why do i look outside anyway? i only want You, Shiva. although other things are attractive, my heart opens only to You, my love: for You alone does the heart become warm & melt into complete acquiescence. only for You does the body relax its grasp upon the allure of the world. only for You, Shiva, do i release all that i thought was true so that You can fill me with the truth that brings me refuge forever within Your domain. it is my true home. the heart knows this & has never forgotten.