pieces & parts

i am not meant to fit in or conform. i am made for the part of
independent observer & outsider, watcher & listener.
the body can no longer assert ties to my guardianship, for
Shiva invites me to withdraw my vigilance over the body's
condition & to release it to its natural process. i do.

i release the body to its fate. i focus instead on Shiva:
knowing Shiva, breathing Shiva, seeing, tasting, smelling & touching
Shiva. i plunge deep into Shiva & take full refuge in Shiva,
that i may live truly in Him, for i know that my home is not here.

Shiva, hear my lament! or maybe it's a rallying cry for the
forces of light to shine out ever more brightly & vividly.
Shiva, hear my lament! or perhaps it's the dying cry of the
ego as it exhausts the vasanas of the mind in weariness.

Shiva, hear me in my loss & confusion & have compassion for
this slowness & ignorance. hold me tightly as the ties to the world
dissolve in the natural process of this transformation & flux.
life is eternal; awareness is cosmic; words rest in the light of
sudden pure direct knowing, & pieces & parts are one with the whole.

Author: swadharma9

i am 82, living in a nursing home and deepening my spiritual life as is appropriate as one ages. i am a student of the Sanatana Dharma and a devotee of Lord Shiva.

8 thoughts on “pieces & parts”

    1. wow, thank you so much! i also am very glad that our paths have crossed as we journey respectfully with Shiva & discover satyam shivam sundaram ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ•‰๐Ÿ™๐Ÿผ


  1. Thank you so much for sharing this. The guru appears when the shishya is ready, so it must have been with you, too. May I ask which part of the world you’re writing from? I’m looking forward to reading your earlier posts. Wishing you good health and continued fulfillment, thank you again.


    1. i have studied advaita vedanta since 2003. in 2015 a big challenging move to a new location, plus the emergency surgery that changed my life completely all left me broken wide open subjectively. when i came to this nursing home i met a psychologist from india so it was natural to speak of advaita. it so happened that she is a follower of swami chinmayananda & gave me the bhagavad gita with swamiโ€™s commentary. she also recommended mala japa & gave me a mala along with a sannyasinโ€™s suggestion to select one of 3 mantras for japa. one was for rama , one was for narayana, & one for shiva. i selected om namah shivaya because i was familiar with that mantra.

      in the years since i began that practice it has opened my eyes & heart to a whole new way of being in this world of jagat. gradually i realized that i had met shiva in an out of body experience when i was 14 years old, and the pieces of the puzzle fell together quickly after that.

      the poetry tells of the various times that shiva has touched my life since then. the whole relationship is chronicled in the various parts of the blog(see โ€˜menuโ€™), & is increasingly vivid. as i move toward shiva, so also does he move toward me. its quite an adventure for a nursing home, but physical location is not relevant for that anyway! ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ•‰๐Ÿ™๐Ÿผโค๏ธ


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