soft upon the senses darkness descends, gently pressing, inviting acceptance, surrender. this is the fruitful darkness of gestation where borders blur & numinous exchange can happen spontaneously. words are too slow for this subtle realm, too angular, sharp & hard. like knives carving water, they give motion mimicking meaning, yet little is clear & nothing enduring remains for long. the gentle fruitful darkness is like a womb, allowing growth of life without disturbance, nurturing & holding it in the divinely provided secure protection. i come from that darkness to You, Shiva, called forth by the sacred mystery of Your summons, alluring as the glow of a night-blooming blossom in the pale new moonlight. soft upon the senses, darkness deepens, gently pressing, hinting of surrender to the fullness of gestation. this is where we touch, far beyond borders or worlds. this is where words are put aside & communion of pure essence reaches forth, heart to heart. this is all i know, Shiva: the slow unveiling of the wordless, the advent of light born of the fruitful darkness, the abundant mother of form.
when You were the sky, Shiva, & i was a cloud in Your vastness, You played with me through dancing fingers of wind, shaping me into magnificent forms far beyond my own insubstantial command. when You were the sky & i was Your cloud, i was held close in the purity & power of Your divine reach & thus was in the fated place to rest upon the wild blessing of Your broad blue chest. i was at the center of the target, Shiva. Your aim was true. now the body is human, yet You have come to play anyway: Your love is spacious, embracing all who sincerely long for You. just as You opened Yourself in the sky, so it is that now on earth You appear before me & draw me deep down into Your heart. You have made me Yours, marked me with Your touch & sign, declared Yourself in full to me. I say yes again, world without end, & we dance. what control has a drifting cloud in the windswept heights of the sky? enfold me in the swift current of Your divine intent, Shiva, & dance me across the wide sky into the blaze of a new dawn.
fruit hanging on the tree ripens from tart to sweet, ever maturing & softening, becoming lushly juicy. fully ripe fruit may fall from the tree, offering itself to the passing hungry beings, to all who search for food. this is the dharma of fruit: to nourish all, that the seed inside may be carried to fertile soil to continue the ageless cycle of replication & provision. Shiva, You have given me sweetness, color & fragrance. i hang here on this branch, ripe & awaiting Your harvest in the coming time, in the season of ingathering. whether i grow on the highest branch or on the lowest is of no concern, for You see my innate potential transcending the exterior circumstances. You are the lord of trees, of the green world, Shiva, overseeing their divine gifts of nurture, shelter, ceaseless protection & generosity. in the same way, people who give of themselves without measure abide in Your protection. i am here on this branch awaiting Your harvest, Shiva, giving myself to Your service, for this is my dharma.
the emptiness of inner space enfolds in peaceful calm quiet. it sublimes everything into a warm embrace, a touch that feels as though the sharp edges that had kept the heart enclosed have now been softened into passing scenery--going, gone, no longer there. the past is a blur of green, blue, gold, dissolving into nothing that can be named, including myself. all the names now fall away. yet an urge remains, a calling, a gentle magnetic pulling that has me held fast in its grasp & takes me to the still-point of all that i have ever yearned for in my deepest most hidden heart shrine. it's You, Shiva. i am calling You--or is it You who call me? this emptiness of inner space is really filled by You, Shiva: Your fragrance of jasmine & datura, Your holy siren song that triggers all the best in me & affects me like ambrosia. the body wants the known & familiar in a pleasant pattern formed to cushion & protect the sociocultural program. that is not possible for me since i overflow its edges in the way that irrepressible exuberant life will do. no boundary can contain or limit me, Shiva, for You have fashioned me thus: for the liminal places & the far edges where reality melts into color & tone & songs are born. stories leak out sentence by sentence & numinous myths dwell there. cradle me close, Shiva, for i am soft & new as a baby in the absence of enculturation & social compulsion. only You are vast enough to hold me now that i have cast off the lines that bound me to the body & its documented past. all that remains now is the tender intimate vastness of You. cradle me close, Shiva, for i am soft & new as a baby.
Shiva, i am learning to know all substance as Your body & all beings with varying forms & functions as Your expressions. the density of matter cloaks complete knowledge of You, although You truly are the all-pervading essence of that which remains to awareness after the transitory departs yet again. this grand drama of life gives birth to the earthly realm, with humans & many other beings populating it in a dance of flowing creativity in a subtle evolving pattern. Shiva, i know that this body, the source of personality, is shaped by genes, conditioning & impacting outer events. therefore it is not who i really am, as You often point out. i learn slowly, glad that You patiently persist in Your teaching that who i really am is the one constant steady awareness that remains vivid when all else is gone: this knowing that "i am", the same indwelling wisdom common to all created beings. Shiva, You are above, below, surrounding & within: source, quest & destination. You are the universal medicine. like a great tide You are upon me, sweeping me up in the flood of Your expression, calling me to the heart, core & center of all the various comings & goings of daily human life. wherever i focus i see You at the living heart of it. i know how it finally ends. i know that the light of kindness will once more prevail & that darkness will again lessen & that this dance will continue as it always does. this endless cosmic glory is like a flower opening from bud, blooming, wilting, fading, falling, releasing the seeds of new flowers to repeat another sacramental cycle of Your rhythmic dance, Shiva. i am looking within to the heart's chamber where You dwell & i simply want to be with You in the refuge of Your calm presence. OM NAMAH SHIVAYA
the rolling fullness of the rising sun reflects anew in the rainbow glint of a dewdrop on the tip of a sharp blade of tender grass innocently offering itself. the final lilting call of the whippoorwill fades into the morning songs of the wood thrush & summer tanager; the sky brightens slowly, becoming a rose-gold temple. the morning brings divine opportunity to offer heartfelt gratitude for the simple gift of awareness. yes Shiva, tempt us with Your divine magnetic beauty as You shape Yourself into these many earthly delights! we shall gladly dance with You in the sweet glory of this timeless transparent increasingly radiant gold light. the rolling fullness of the rising sun reflects anew in our swirling turning rhythmic holy dance, dear Shiva of hidden charms & endless unfolding transformation. like the whippoorwill, our voices are silent in the soft downpouring light as our hearts lift like blossoms to the sun.