i know now that You never did turn away from me but gave the opportunity to heal deep-seated karmic tendencies that needed focus over time. for that i wandered through the lonely hinterland of suffering & refinement of receptivity. though always the memory of Your presence & grace would warm me like the sweet gentle sunshine of springtime, like a soft generous rain soaking into the earth, like the sun patiently pulling the life from the seed into the down-pouring soft radiant grace of You. Shiva, we are fused in purpose & intent to bless. gone are the days of raw youthful naive ignorance. now i see compassionately through mature vision how You persistently, continually touched me, shaped me, held me, healed me & how, in the final view, You auspiciously emerged from Your hidden home deep within my heart's most intimate & sacred chamber. You wear me today like a consecrated garment as i am borne by You through this long incarnation which i celebrate like a glad global holiday. i am soaked through & through with Your divine love & grace & i cannot stop these words that pour forth rejoicing, rejoicing like a tree in the warm springtime sunshine!