we are the ones who keep the windows & doors of the world open
to new realities asking to enter & be acknowledged.
we are Shiva's followers, His devotees who have been dismissed from
the orderly world of known borders & allowed actions.
we are the outliers, the explorers & the outrageous ones
who will not be contained within the rulebook of society.
we are the ones who keep the windows & doors of the world open
for the mysterious divine beings who, like us, cannot be
contained within common limits, hence we are Shiva's acolytes.
He has given us a place of honor within His sacred life,
unlike the earthly, worldly realm of organized reality,
to demonstrate that no one is rejected or abandoned or
forgotten. all beings who seek truth & the real are welcome to
Shiva's band of followers & companions of deep mystery.
the abode of truth is so vast that nothing is left out & none
is ever really a solitary wandering being,
for we all travel in a vast reciprocal companionship
of interconnected life. Shiva, Your attendants salute You!
we are the ones who keep the windows & doors of the world open,
allowing free circulation of all the mixed blessings of life.
i have done this before: continually urged myself to progress, accepting that there would be ups & downs, blessings lost & blessings found. i am not new to this journey, neither do i rejoice nor complain. there is really no choice, for basically i follow my own nature: that which i genuinely want to do, which circumstances call forth.
the mind is programmed by life to respond in certain ways, according to the situation set-up of this dreamlike domain of jagat. there is great joy in expressing within the flow of ones own nature, feeling the fullness of energy building & its smooth streaming forth to evolve, flower & fruit, & gladly to share the final harvest.
once i stood before a tapestry hundreds of miles in length & width. i contemplated a single square inch of it & found fault & flaw, no meaningful pattern or redeeming quality could i find there. You, Shiva, came to me & took my hand, pulling me along with You. You showed me such vast sweet glory that the budding inner self quickened & blossomed in the light of it all, in the wonder & radiance.
I saw that the whole vast pattern seamlessly included even that single small inch too &, at that moment of direct knowing, i ceased judging what i perceived & began to rejoice in the layered complexity of divine love & in You, Shiva, my authentic, inclusive, good, pure, vital, vibrant, enduring connection to wholeness.
so it is that i simply take what comes into my life & love it into a meaningful pattern, to the best of my ability. i earnestly move forward toward You who have called me & to whom i have given all that i am now & all that i may yet become. this writing chronicles it, for there is no other journey for me.
mysterious vast cycles wheel & spiral:
childbirth, the solar wind, black holes colliding
in the void of space & in the human mind.
i am carefully chewing my cereal,
caught up in a complex mental weave of words
while global tectonic plates drift apart &
stars are born of nebulae, blue-hot & new.
You reveal the transphysical realm to me,
Shiva, beyond form & therefore beyond words.
direct perception takes place, the full download
of living love, light & sweet understanding.
life without the body goes on. the body,
not the life, comes to its culmination &
the realm of living energy continues.
mysterious vast cycles wheel & spiral,
invoking all matter to grand cosmic tides.
the time to look within that the pandemic provides
is a healing & integrative blessing, though strict.
i know enough now not to confuse the wrapping of
the gift with the real gift, which i receive gratefully.
Shiva, i see that the sanatana dharma came
to the west as theosophy & esotericism,
telling the holistic tale that bridges cultures & lifestyles.
we are more alike than different, preferring love
over violence, gentleness over cruelty.
we surge forward as a multitude toward the light.
we stray only to learn the true nature of our need.
we are ignited, blazing like a fire in winter,
as we return to You, who are called by many names.
You bring the sanatana dharma, ageless wisdom,
the effulgence of eternal truth in daily life.
the pandemic is the current opportunity
to go within, emerging into Your dear embrace
as we shed our ragged & broken crusty old skins
for the supple skin of a newborn child in this world
as we return to You, who are called by many names.
events burst freely into being, filled with their possibilities.
all existence is a vivid burst of creative exploration,
magnificent with enfolding nuance, color, fragrance, mystery.
Shiva, i am blessed to be aware of sharing this event with You,
blended & fused in essence & expression, fluid & calm, contained.
we commingle yet include all, as a galaxy includes its stars
within its own wheeling course in the vaster dynamic universe.
iterations & reflections of unity cycle & orbit
around the originating cause in an ongoing creation.
what a blessing, Shiva, to be dancing this tandava with You,
celebrating the liberation of the mind from the burden
of identification, domination, judgement & conscription!
events burst freely into being, filled with their possibilities!
You live in my heart, Shiva, melting my resistance
to transformation & its needful dissolution.
this is a small pralaya, a time of rest & calm
after the long intense birthing & care of the born.
down from the mountain & into the plowed field is the
natural path for water to flow, & for me too,
past the resistance & ignorance, proceeding onward
to the deepest place of the innermost sweet stillness.
slowly bindings are easing, tangles are resolving
& quietude is soothing the rough edges & rips.
the surface is placid, the currents at rest for now.
this is a small pralaya, a time of rest & calm.
You live in my heart, Shiva, melting my resistance.
when these poems are written, it is as if we are conversing
& You are revealing luminous & precious inner treasure.
it forges a connection & creates a continuing flow
from You to me, cascading out to all the people who see this.
thus it is a conduit of blessing that moves through me & out
into the world like an outpouring deep into cloistered chambers,
opening the closed doors & windows, lighting lamps & making tea,
settling into human life with no prejudice or reluctance.
it is as if we are conversing when these poems are written,
Shiva, & sharing our communion just as the lamp shares its light.
i am here in a human body, vowing this human heart to You,
who have given me a task for these last years in this human body.
i am to look back with discernment over the years of this life &
to notice the times in the past when You have touched me & guided me,
shaped & refined me. these are the crucial turning points & stepping stones.
they are pivotal to a constructive, creative life-direction,
spun out of me naturally, like the filmy-fine strands of the web
from a spider in a symmetry of pattern & delicate beauty
which signifies You, my beloved companion on this strange journey.
You are the one specific strand that links & ties the parts together
for usefulness & positive value to manifest in the world.
here is the holistic view of this human life & time in jagat.
here is where i gratefully bow to the body-personality.
here is how ego becomes just another face in the chorus line.
here is where we blend at the heart into a spark of eternal flame.
here i am in a human body, vowing this human heart to You.
Shiva, my refuge & my beloved! i am for You & You alone!
You have shown me that every well-intentioned, upbeat & constructive thought
& feeling is nourishment for the divine forces of light, for angels
& devas & gods, for the well-being of countless blessed beings & worlds.
You have shown me how they flourish & deepen in goodness & in service.
You have also revealed to me that every negative & hate-filled thought
is food & fuel for the forces of darkness, for demons & devils
& the sly covert undermining of innocent, good & pure beings.
therefore i no longer indulge in angry, bitter, resentful feelings
nor linger in dim dull grey gloom or wearisome comparative thinking,
for i myself may then become an infectious contagion to others.
thus it is, Shiva, that i will focus on You & the many blessings
which continually urge me toward my greatest unfolding goodness.
i seek to prepare a banquet of joy for angels & devas & gods
that the beauty of kindness & the gentle caring heart may be present.
i rejoice in the generous abundance of nature, the sky, the sun,
oceans, rivers, mountains, valleys & their varied populations.
may heartfelt gratitude & sincere appreciation pour forth freely,
like honey from the honeycomb & cool refreshing rain from the heavens!
Shiva, my refuge & my beloved! i am for You & You alone!
we nourish the manvantara by pouring out our love relentlessly.
at night i gaze into the eyes of a thousand thousand stars
& they see through my eyes & through the coiled array of dna
that is threaded throughout each human, animal & plant being.
the stars are looking out through my eyes into this very moment
& it's cosmic reunion time for the multidimensional!
we are so casual, striding as if we are the ones in charge
& not shadows stumbling through the dying fires of fading empires.
You show me such inclusive cosmic glimpses that i am humbled.
i cling to You, Shiva, as if an innocent newborn being.
each day i remind myself that i am the pure divine energy
that enlivens the body & not the flesh, blood & bone itself.
day after day i inform myself of truth & i move forward,
releasing millennia of body-based interpretations.
i do this as my contribution to galactic well-being.
at night the eyes of a thousand thousand stars gaze deep into me.
i am here, i tell them, to share new adventures in consciousness
for this brave age that labors to give birth to a new paradigm.
You sent me out into the woods at twilight to sing
to devas in the blue ridge mountains of my dreamtime.
i consecrated leafy temples to the divine
as You urged me deeper into the green-fingered trees.
You led me on intense quest after quest. i trusted
You to guide me on my way & You have blessed me, made
a thing of beauty of my long stumbling life-journey.
You urged me close so that i could take refuge in You.
You are my true reality in this comedy
of posturing, this rowdy parade of cosmic clowns.
You have ordered this woman's life to sacred song
which is imprinted deeply in my heart's memory:
"i mean no harm. i am passing through. i celebrate
all existence." & i do, regularly, daily.
truly, seeking refuge in You takes me to the heart
where all experience is rendered luminous, pure,
with sacred secret messages of Your loving care,
that holy trust that has me singing of You, Shiva!
"not everything is of great consequence," is said by some.
"there are things of importance & things of less importance."
don't believe it! the stars are hanging on our very breath!
the farthest galaxies are swimming in our own bloodstream,
heating the body, sharing primal creation secrets
as we come into organized form in our mother's womb.
we emerge from the womb slick with the moist blessing of the
great divine benefactor of arcane organic life.
we come into a world of shattered stone & hidden light.
all things here are pointing back to the source of creation.
everything matters because we all come from that one source
& our very quantum core is shared with the indivisible.
we must remember this when we are told that we don't matter
because of a human-generated code of judgement
based on appearances, differences & social values.
don't believe it! the stars are hanging on our very breath!
the farthest galaxies are swimming in our own bloodstream
in this pervasive quantum entanglement we call life.
i appear to be a self-willed individual,
yet i'm truly a cooperative group effort
of various elemental creative forces
& devic entities, standing in their active ranks,
as Shiva places His holy seal upon my heart.
all creation is expressing by way of matter
& self is actually vast, cosmic & divine.
appearances conceal by promising to reveal,
as entire fused universes of blended beings
are dancing in my arteries & upon the sun.
i smile a modest shy acknowledgement, all proper,
pretending to be a self-willed individual
when i'm really an entire party in full loud swing
with a heavenly guest list of stellar magnitude!
THIS HAPPENED 