the mind yet has its training wheels to help it remain steady. truthfully, i often find myself laying flat on the ground wondering how i came to fall so low, how i can arise. yet i do arise, time after time, & i do push forward. it has been given to me to repeat this forward motion. i wanted to opt out, let it all go without my input, but You have shaped it otherwise for me, my dear Lord Shiva. thus it is that i give myself to You in service & love. i am a cell in Your body, You are my reality. i see this while i yet must play the part You have given me. i do this in gratitude, for the well-being of all life is woven in to every inch of each measurable thing, thus i delight in playing out the role You have given me. You come to me in love & i greet You in gratitude here where love & gratitude shine like suns in the sky of the mind. this is the role that completes all roles, final absolution. this is the end of roles, concepts, divisions, all mentation. this is the point of the needle of now, the collapse of words. yet the body throbs to sun, sky, earth, water & to rhythm, to music's rhythm that leads us home, removes separation. music is the dream's exit door, opening into Shiva who is the dweller in my heart & the maker of music. music is my training wheels, helping me dissolve boundaries into primal sound & thus to merge into You, Lord Shiva. beat Your damaru drum like my very own fast-beating heart! keep the rhythm strong. i follow it back to my origin. even training wheels will fall away in the fullness of time.