i knew i was not lost though they told me i was. i knew that i was blessed though they said i was cursed. i lived my days with them essentially unseen, courting the mystery ceaselessly calling me, utmost magnet of love attracting constantly. i am aware of You -- i feel You in my heart & in my brain & bones. You stroke me with soft wind, You sway in the shadows & You blaze in the sun. You call me from hiding & stand me before You, naked in my yearning, stripped of human learning. i am Yours, returning, open like a plowed field ready to receive seed. I knew I was not lost. I knew that i was blessed. I knew that it was You who comes to me at last.