he comes

the mirror is covered with dust
& age is devouring the mind.
my heart hungers for Lord Shiva;
He shines like a sunrise to me.
i open in His warm sweet light
like rose petals from the tight bud.
He is first & middle & last,
the only focus that matters
as the body nibbles at time.

leaving the mirror behind me,
i return the dust to the earth
& face into the mystery
as i hear His song calling me.
He comes, He comes, my Lord Shiva!
He is radiant with blessing!
He sings me home, my heart is His.
i cling to Him, my timeless Friend
to whom i am betrothed: my Love!

when i could not

i looked through the eyes of the damned,
i looked through the eyes of the cursed.
i wallowed in sorrow & smut,
swallowed by dark ruminations
that laid me down flat like roadkill.
yet still Lord Shiva approached me,
He opened His circle to me.
i turned away, my face covered,
& hid in the shadows of shame.

He gave me full rein to destroy
so i tore the script of the world,
shredded the judgements of others,
moved from the careful & cautious,
plunged into the mystery bright.
it burned away the deep darkness.
it left me with nothing to hide.

He came like a storm in springtime.
i lay spread like dry earth below.
He was the downpour that drenched me
& pulled out the sprout from the seed.
He opened His arms, He claimed me,
He held me like music & art.

I am His flute, His brush & paint,
i am His words, His wordlessness.
i now celebrate Lord Shiva,
Who took me in & judged me not
& cared for me when i could not.


wife welcoming husband home

You are woven through my life,
patterned in my skin & bones.
You have carried me through loss
& danced with me in danger.

my eyes have been uncovered:
now i know You for my guide,
see Your touch upon my fate.
Your hand is raised in guidance,
Your gaze enlightens my path.

i am empty without You.
the fragrance of Your presence
invites me to cling to You,
wife welcoming husband home.

i knew i was not lost


i knew i was not lost
though they told me i was.
i knew that i was blessed
though they said i was cursed.

i lived my days with them
essentially unseen,
courting the mystery
ceaselessly calling me,
utmost magnet of love
attracting constantly.

i am aware of You --
i feel You in my heart
& in my brain & bones.
You stroke me with soft wind,
You sway in the shadows
& You blaze in the sun.
You call me from hiding
& stand me before You,
naked in my yearning,
stripped of human learning.
i am Yours, returning,
open like a plowed field
ready to receive seed.

I knew I was not lost.
I knew that i was blessed.
I knew that it was You
who comes to me at last.

my chair

my chair cradles & cuddles,
easing the body & breath,
a molecular lover,
vehicle & companion
on the journey to Shiva,
He to whom i am betrothed.
i am urged by the marrow
deep within my very bones.
He made me. He owns me.
He has me now forever.
i am made of His substance.
i hear His call, i respond.

my chair like an animal
strains toward Him, wanting Him.
everything wants Him now.
all else is meaningless, dry,
a dream to awaken from.
Lord Shiva lives in my heart!