the mirror is covered with dust & age is devouring the mind. my heart hungers for Lord Shiva; He shines like a sunrise to me. i open in His warm sweet light like rose petals from the tight bud. He is first & middle & last, the only focus that matters as the body nibbles at time. leaving the mirror behind me, i return the dust to the earth & face into the mystery as i hear His song calling me. He comes, He comes, my Lord Shiva! He is radiant with blessing! He sings me home, my heart is His. i cling to Him, my timeless Friend to whom i am betrothed: my Love!
i looked through the eyes of the damned, i looked through the eyes of the cursed. i wallowed in sorrow & smut, swallowed by dark ruminations that laid me down flat like roadkill. yet still Lord Shiva approached me, He opened His circle to me. i turned away, my face covered, & hid in the shadows of shame. He gave me full rein to destroy so i tore the script of the world, shredded the judgements of others, moved from the careful & cautious, plunged into the mystery bright. it burned away the deep darkness. it left me with nothing to hide. He came like a storm in springtime. i lay spread like dry earth below. He was the downpour that drenched me & pulled out the sprout from the seed. He opened His arms, He claimed me, He held me like music & art. I am His flute, His brush & paint, i am His words, His wordlessness. i now celebrate Lord Shiva, Who took me in & judged me not & cared for me when i could not.
You are woven through my life, patterned in my skin & bones. You have carried me through loss & danced with me in danger. my eyes have been uncovered: now i know You for my guide, see Your touch upon my fate. Your hand is raised in guidance, Your gaze enlightens my path. i am empty without You. the fragrance of Your presence invites me to cling to You, wife welcoming husband home.
i knew i was not lost though they told me i was. i knew that i was blessed though they said i was cursed. i lived my days with them essentially unseen, courting the mystery ceaselessly calling me, utmost magnet of love attracting constantly. i am aware of You -- i feel You in my heart & in my brain & bones. You stroke me with soft wind, You sway in the shadows & You blaze in the sun. You call me from hiding & stand me before You, naked in my yearning, stripped of human learning. i am Yours, returning, open like a plowed field ready to receive seed. I knew I was not lost. I knew that i was blessed. I knew that it was You who comes to me at last.
my chair cradles & cuddles, easing the body & breath, a molecular lover, vehicle & companion on the journey to Shiva, He to whom i am betrothed. i am urged by the marrow deep within my very bones. He made me. He owns me. He has me now forever. i am made of His substance. i hear His call, i respond. my chair like an animal strains toward Him, wanting Him. everything wants Him now. all else is meaningless, dry, a dream to awaken from. Lord Shiva lives in my heart!